I just read Tom Martin’s post and his last comment rang true to me as well. Bruce met my wife and me for lunch before he left for Vegas. We chatted about many things. He was a little upset due to some expats comments, and rightfully so. I do believe we would have become good friends if he had stayed here.

I have been here in Davao for almost a year now. I have not done a lot of socializing because I have been working 6 to 7 days a week building a house. I have met several expat here. I have one for a neighbor, one down the road and another down the road the other way. One, I actually think might become a good friend, but school is still out on that until I transfer (move) into my house later this week.

My neighbor’s idea of friendship is a shoddy barb wire fence that looks like a 10 year old put up, with grow sticks laced in between the strands and native thorn bushes he transplanted down the fence row, in my front yard! Not to mention three coconut trees he planted specifically to block my view of Mt Apo. That will take a few years, if they don’t die. Did I mention I bought my property from him. Nice guy till he saw he was not going to get any more money out of me.

Another foreigner with a bad plan. I would tell him what I think, but he hides or turns his back and goes inside if I get within shouting distance. He always waits until we are not there to do his deeds, early morning or after dark. My wife and I laugh and wonder when he will find the time once we move there. However, given that, the real sad part of it all is the fact that my wife and his wife grew up together, been friends most of their lives. I think his wife has came back to visit my wife one time in 6 months. Such a shame, but fear not, I believe in Karma…….we reap what we sow.

As for the other expats I have met, I put them into three categories. The ones that have little and want to be a King and the ones that have a lot and think they are Kings. Then there are the ones like me that came here because they love the culture and the challenge of a third world country. These seem to be far and few between. I do have several expat friends in Cebu who we visit and are waiting to come here when my house is finished. Yes, there are many inconviences here, downright frustrating at times. However, you got to love the people. Most have nothing but they are always smiling and full of hope. I do have several Filipino friends. All I have to do is mention I need this, or need someone to help me. They always come through and are there to help whenever I have a need. They expect nothing in return.

Well it seems that Tom Martin and I may have a few things in common. Maybe he will read this and who knows, maybe we will become friends. However, I do empathize with him no matter the outcome.

I have had people that are coming here for the first time; ask me about being taken advantage of by the Filipino’s. They are concerned and worried that they will have to pay more than they should. I have to laugh. But it’s true, you may get the white guy price or a Taxi driver may try to get away without setting the meter, (but we know Bruce would never do that). But it’s usually only a few peso’s more. The only way to really combat this is to learn some of the language. More times than not I get a better price then the Filipino’s. I always ask the price of something in English. Once they tell me, I then tell them in their language it’s too high and I want a discount. They are usually so shocked they get a big smile on their face and start lowering the price. As for as being taken advantage of, well my advice is to beware of other foreigners. They will more likely dent your wallet much harder the any Filipino. Sad but true.

Country living brings the clean air, lush green areas, farm fields and solitude.
Both have a lot of great qualities to be extolled, but the fact is, we all came from cleaner, better ordered societies that had more comfort, convenience and cleanliness than anywhere you will find here in the Philippines.

I never experienced a brownout in the USA. A driver’s license renewal took twenty minutes, as did getting new license plates for the car. Grocery shopping was a clean, simple, comfortable task that took more time to shop than to checkout. Dairy products were fresh and plentiful. Meats and poultry were not laid out to be handled by every dirty handed shopper that walked by. The roads were in better shape, most people obeyed traffic laws and pedestrians ALWAYS had the right-of-way. Cable TV was better, phone service was better and my computer worked WAY, WAY, WAY better than ANY provider in the P.I.

I never was asked for a bribe just to go about my daily life and never even considered it as a way of doing business.

So, anyone who tells you that living in the Philippines is better than living in, say, the USA, is either trying to sell you something, has their own ulterior motive or is a bald faced liar! Oh yeah, I do like living here and plan to stay for 4 years while my wife goes to college. (My ulterior motive is 4 years of college in the USA $50,000 USD or the same degree here in the Philippines $6,800 USD)

Now for the reason I wrote today,
People, who do not understand Bruce’s decision to give the USA another try, have not lived in Bruce’s skin, walked in his shoes or experienced life in the same way he has. I think Bruce knows that this move will not be easy. It’s a road he has chosen for himself and his wife (who will probably, one day, become a US citizen herself).

Most Filipinos, if asked, would say “Hell YES!” to a trip to the US or Great Britain, Australia, Europe or any first world county.

We all (expat’s) come here for many different reasons. Begrudging one of our own for choosing a path back is a little hypocritical, don’t you think? I commend Bruce for stepping outside his comfort zone and heading out to the USA. He received an opportunity to go and believes it worth the attempt to try. I am sure it was a very difficult decision to make. Good for him!

All of my friends thought I was a NUT for coming here to live. Most of yours probably do too! (Be honest!)
We have all read Bruce’s writing here and agree with him or not, we were glad to have them to read, think about and respond to.

I have met Bruce and can tell you that he has written with great insight, honesty, self-discipline, tolerance and respect for the Philippines. All he ever wanted to do was tell you about his life here, to journal his experiences as an Expat trying to make it in a different country and sharing with us, his life. He did not try to convince anyone to do it his way or do as he did; he just put his life out for others to experience.
Thanks Bruce for your musings on life in Davao, the ranting when you needed to and the friendly advice when offered.

I will continue to read and try to contribute time to time.
Good luck in Vegas and God’s speed.
Hugs for Elena.

Steve in Davao

Over time, especially when I tried to quit or cut down, I would realize there are two conditions of smoking that has to be broken. One is the addiction to nicotine. Nicotine is a drug, when it reaches the brain, it causes the release of dopamine which is a pleasure sense. Stopping the nicotine can cause withdrawal symptoms such as irritability. Smoking is also an everything drug, if you are hungry but cannot eat, smoke a cigarette. If you are tired but cannot sleep, smoke a cigarette, it will stimulate you. If your stressed a cigarette will help  you relax. There are also triggers that you automatically reach for a cigarette. After a meal, having a drink, answering the phone are some. One of mine is as I start the car I have a cigarette.

I had tried many times to quit. First, I tried nicotine gum, but it made me sick to my stomach. A few times, I tried the patch, but that did not work for relieving the habit and triggers. A couple of times I used a combination of the patch and Zyban, also known as Wellbutrin. This is an antidepressant but helps in the reduced need for smoking. These never worked for me.

Three years ago, I tried Chantex and surprisingly it worked. After two weeks on the drug I was not smoking. I took the pills for 3 months and then I did not smoke for eight months. Two weeks before I moved to the Philippines, I was going crazy with boredom. I had everything packed and was just waiting for the day of my departure.  One day I was outside and a neighbor came along. As we were talking, she took out a pack of cigarettes. I asked to borrow one. It tasted good but then I was fine the rest of the day.  The next day she came by to chat again and while we were talking, I had two cigarettes. Well this was it, the next day I went out and bought a pack.

With the boredom and stress here, I have been up to smoking two to three packs a day. If I am at the mall waiting for Elena, I would go outside and in one hour smoke three to four cigarettes. After a cold it would take months for my cough to subside.

Well, with my coming change by moving to Las Vegas I decided it was time to try to quit smoking again. The reasons are many; first is health, then since I plan to drive a taxi and not being able to smoke. There is also the problem of where I will be living, the family does not allow smoking in their house and of course, the high price is a factor too.

One nice thing, Chantex, packaged here as Champix is not a prescription drug in the Philippines. It is not cheap, it is 70 pesos ($1.75 USD) per pill and you need two a day. Well a week ago I started on the drug. After two days, without a conscience effort to cut down I noticed I only smoked one and a half packs a day. Then the next two days I only smoked one pack. The first three days you take one pill of a .5mg of the drug. Then starting the fourth day you take two of this, once in the morning and once at night. Sunday was the start of my second week and now will be taking a 1mg strength pill twice a day. I am hoping by the end of this week, I will not smoke at all.

I plan to continue my regiment of the drug for at least three months and I hope and pray this will be the end of my years of cigarette addiction.

So, with my leaving, I was thinking about things I will miss and things I will not miss from here. This is a hard thing to decide or even list.

I was going to say I would miss friends, but there are a few that are “True” friends. I have met many people, foreigners and Filipinos. Most do not contact me unless they need me for something and many I have given up trying to develop closer friendships since they are not interested.

Some might think I will miss being free every day without to worry about going to a job. Well, actually, I miss the regiment of working and when I was in Architecture, I enjoyed my work.  Over the two years, there were times I was bored and wished there was something to do.

I do not know if there are foods here that are not available in America. Some fruits are not available there, but there are many not available here which are in America.

Family, well I will miss Elena until I can get her the spousal visa but we will video chat and call often. This will be hard, but I know in the future that she will be with me. As for my other family here, we have never developed as tight a bond as I would have liked. Maybe over time we can sponsor some to come over since they will be licensed nurses.

Traffic and driving here I will never miss. In the states, there are laws and police to maintain traffic and we try to follow the rules. Here it is crazy, part because there are so little traffic officers to maintain the laws. As we used to joke “If there is no policeman to see you break a traffic law, is what you did illegal?”

There are items here less expensive than in the states but if, it is a garment, and you are not short and skinny, can you find it in your size? For me, with a size 12 wide shoe size, I cannot ever find athletic shoes, sneakers, in my size. As for clothes, I do not know how they measure but their number sizes and graduated sizes such as S, M, L, XL, XXL, are smaller than in the States. When I moved here, in the states I wore a 38 waist slacks, here I needed a 42. I wore a large or maybe an extra large shirt. Here I need a XXL.

Many items here are made in China and the quality is low. Also here, in most cases, if you buy something, there are not many return policies. Some malls, if you buy something and it is wrong or does not fit, you have 24 hours to return it. If it breaks, you are stuck with it.

Many people, especially when in the “golden years” prefer hotter temperatures. For me, I enjoy some change of seasonal temperatures. Here the only time it is cool is if it has rained all day and still is raining through sundown. Then the buildings and air is cool. If the rain stops while the sun is out, it gets more humid with the extra moisture evaporating in the heat.

I will also not miss the bad sanitary conditions with never ending ants, roaches or rats. I will not have to worry anymore if I get a mosquito bite that I might get dengue or malaria.
I came here as most because of the cheaper cost of living. I wonder if the conditions outweigh the cost savings.

We all make life changing decisions in our life, maybe a job, a marriage, a divorce a change of location or even a change of country. Good or bad you make the best of it. Sometimes the “Grass is not always Greener.” I made my decision to move here because I felt it was the best under the circumstances. I wanted to be with the lady I loved and this was the easiest way. I thought I would be able to find a way to make an income. Well, as throughout life, situations change and I am happy I have someone offering us a way to live in the States and have another chance.

In the Philippines, laundry is done many ways depending on what you can afford. Some people own a washer and dryer, but that is more the exception than the rule. Some have a machine that just agitates and then spins, but most cases laundry is done by hand. Someone sits on a stool in front of a plastic tub by a water faucet. Powdered soap is added to the water and a few items at a time are placed in the soapy water and rubbed and squeezed. Other times some people will use a bar of laundry soap and scrub each item. After enough if the items are done, the soapy water is dumped and fresh water is used to rinse. The person then squeezes the items to rinse out the soap. The rinse water is replaced as many times needed until the water is clear and soap free.

After a group of the laundry is cleaned, it is hung inside out on a hanger or over the line to air dry. Turning it inside out is to help reduce the sun from bleaching the colors out. With the use of cold water, the colors do not fade that fast. Depending on the size of the family and the frequency of laundry day, this task can take many hours. Some people hire a Labandera; this is a person you hire for a day, just to do the laundry.

Here at our house, our nieces and nephew does their own laundry. Some items, such as nursing school uniforms, which each girl has two, are done a few times a week. As one is drying, they have one to wear the next day.

Some readers asked why we have hired a helper, one reason is laundry. I usually change my clothes twice a day because of perspiration. Therefore, in one week there is two of everything needing to be washed. Then there are towels, sheets and other items. With the other assistance in the home, the help of this girl is probably cheaper than taking the laundry to a cleaner each week.

I find everything is cleaned well; the only problem is without the use of a dryer tumbling the clothes as they dry, there is a stiffness when first put on. Part is the drying and the other is, even with the use of a machine, there is some soap residue left in the material. One other problem is my underwear, which is stretched out over time without the assistance of shrinking with hot water and the use of a dryer and then the stretching as it is being washed.

One Filipino I know mentioned something their grandmother would say when it rained on the laundry drying. She would comment “Natures way of softening the clothes.” I realized it is because they get an extra rinse.

This story is just another thing to realize the differences here in the Philippines and probably other third world countries.

BTW, Bruce, I wonder if you would not mind to write about your experiences from earlier in your marriage with you Pinay wife…
It would be nice to compare the notes.
Myself, I have been married to my wife for just 2 years now, thereof, we are still considered newlyweds.
There are so many, by themselves very insignificant things we are going trough day by day in our life together that have to do with our cultural differences, which is totally different from what I have experienced with white ladies before…
For example, sometimes I joke with my wife that she has no sense of humor, does not understand sarcasm. Also from time to time, when I comment on something and forget about it next second she remains upset about it for 2 days because she takes everything personally.

With humor, we make jokes or joke about things with words that sound the same or with different words with the same meanings.  For instance, a child’s joke: What is black and white and read (red) all over?” There are two answers, “A newspaper” which is black (print), White (paper) and read all over (by many people). The second answer is “an Embarrassed Zebra” Since a zebra is black and white and red all over from embarrassment (blushing).

The problem is many Filipinos, even if they speak English well, in many cases translate the English to their language and the try to understand the meaning. Unfortunately, most of the humor gets lost in translation. Even when you explain the reason for the humor, it is still lost on them.

From what I have learned, many Filipino jokes are based on someone’s mistake in language. There was a lot of laughing and repeating when a politician won his election and was quoted saying “I told you I would win by a mudslide” where he meant landslide.

Another problem here with language and understanding is many Filipinos are insecure with their use of English. Because of this, they feel insulted easily if they hear an American expression, where it is just an expression in American English. Sarcasm is taken as an insult and like most women; they let being upset to fester for days. Their feelings are hurt and they will make you suffer for hurting them.

Once day I was upset with my wife and commented to her “you are a pain in the ass.” Well she was so upset; she would not talk to me. During this point, we were driving to an English friend’s restaurant for lunch.  While there, our friends asked what the problem was since he saw the tension between us.  One of mentioned my use of the expression.  He calmly explained to Elena what the expression meant and that it is just an expression to let off steam. Good thing he explained and Elena understood. Now we joke with it. I now say, “You are a pain in the ass, but you’re my pain in the ass” showing I love her and she is mine.

Something else we do not realize, with all the poverty and difficult life in the Philippines, Filipinos are a proud people and do not like outsiders to be insulting to their country and way of life. They know the problems, but they have resigned to the fact that these problems will not change and this is how life is here.

Another problem is as a foreigner in their country and at times, we generalize about the country or the people. This is insulting to most Filipinos, even if they agree with you. In anger or when upset many foreigners will say, “You Filipinos are this, or that.” In addition, they will be upset because you are saying all, not some or most.  It is the same when we are overcharged and they tell you, “Well Sir, you’re a Rich American.” Many Filipinos think all Americans or Foreigners are wealthy and can afford the higher price.

Now, this reader mentioned how he will make a comment, he will forget it in a few seconds, and his wife would stay mad for days. I am curious, if he was ever married to an American woman. Is this attitude ever different? Men typically let off steam and then forget it, women will remember and remind you of things you have done wrong for years. Another old joke is “What does an elephant and a wife have in common? They both never forget.”

Unfortunately, for this reader and many others who have a Filipina wife in their home country, the wife will find and associate with other Filipinos. With this, they never fully immerse themselves in the English language. Many times, they will purchase an extended cable package so their wife can watch TV from the Philippines.

When I was originally planning to bring Elena to America, I mentioned to her, once she arrived and were settled, I was going to have her attend an advanced ESL (English as a Second Language) course and also have her read English newspapers and read books to better immerse her in the language.

In our home country, we never think about water service, it is always there. Most times if the water utility company needs to do work, they will reroute it so there is not lose of service. If there is to be a loss of service, the customers will be notified well in advance to fill bath tubs and containers.

Here in Davao, there are times or locations where water pressure goes down or service is unavailable. At our first home, in the mornings, since so many people were using water, there was only enough pressure for water to come out of a faucet, but not enough pressure to flow from the shower. Many Filipino homes do not have shower heads and use a bucket and small pail to shower and fill it from a lower faucet.

The supply mains in most housing communities are small and pressure is low. Where we live now, there has only been a few times we did not have water service but mostly the water pressure, even though not as good like in America but sufficient to shower and household needs. In our house, the flow rate drops if more than one faucet supply is on. However, for some areas this would still be good.

When I was working, there was no water service until between 11am and 1pm. Every night someone would fill a small plastic garbage type pail with water to be available for all water uses including flushing the toilet. If the water was exhausted before the service was back, no flushing or water to wash hands was available.

Many homes and businesses have large plastic or metal tanks at their homes. Some use this as a backup for low pressure or outages. There are also subdivisions that only have water service for a few hours a day. Because of the low supply, they turn on service to one area then shut it off and turn it on for the next area. One family I know have a tank and later afternoon when they have service turn on a pump to fill their tank. This daily chore cannot be ignored or forgotten. They cannot use a timer for the pump because the exact time the service is available varies. Without water, the pump will burn out.

Even though Davao’s water is rated one of the best in the Philippines or maybe Asia, most homes buy bottled water and have a standing dispenser. This water is used for drinking. It is delivered weekly and they pick up the empties and replace with the amount of bottles needed for the week.

Living in Davao or probably most urban areas of the Philippines things we took for granted in our home country are not the same as here. Water pressure losses, brownouts (term here used for a blackout or loss of power) phone and internet service and customer service is not the same or quality of service.

Last night I watched the CNN HERO Awards hosted by Anderson Cooper.

The Christmas season reminds us that we need to help and serve as much as possible. The stories that were told touched my heart. They told about common, ordinary people who saw a need, stepped-up, helped others and became extraordinary people. Efren Penaflorida is one of these extraordinary people.

Pushcart educator Efren Peñaflorida took top honors as the 2009 CNN Hero of the Year. He was recognized for bringing education to poor Filipino children through his “pushcart classroom”. He will receive $100,000 as his winning prize and he said that he’ll be using 90% of it to continue his work with the Dynamic Teen Company and the remaining 10% to the church.

Here are the 2009 Top 9 CNN Heroes:

Brad Blauser- He has vowed to try to make life a little easier for these families by organizing the distribution of wheelchairs, donated and paid for by his charity, Wheelchairs for Iraqi Kids.
Roy Foster-  Started Stand Down House program provides homeless male vets food, shelter and a safe place to recover, as well as the tools to conquer their personal problems.

Doc Hendley- A Bartender who has traveled to Sudan, Ethiopia, Uganda and Cambodia, working with local communities to build clean water wells and sanitation systems. His program Wine to Water has brought sustainable water systems to 25,000 people in five countries.

Andrea Ivory- Breast cancer survivor Andrea Ivory is bringing early detection to the doorsteps of uninsured women. With mobile mammography vans, her group has provided more than 500 free screenings in Miami, Florida.


Betty Makoni- Zimbabwe native who founded the Girl Child Network that creates safe spaces for girls to grow and connect with each other. Betty uses advocacy campaigns, media projects, and works with community leaders to raise awareness and change attitudes at community and national levels.

Jorge Munoz- Founded the nonprofit, An Angel in Queens which provide much needed meals through his mobile food to homeless in Queens, New York.

Budi Soehardi- A former pilot living in Singapore, and his wife, Peggy, run an orphanage looking after 47 children. They give a home and more importantly a family to abandoned children and those orphaned by the East Timor conflicts.

Derrick Tabb- Snare drummer for the Rebirth Brass Band and founder of the after-school Roots of Music band program for New Orleans middle-schoolers. His music education program provides free tutoring, instruments and music instruction to more than 100 students.

Jordan Thomas- From Chattanooga, Tennessee who started a foundation after he lost both feet in a boating accident and turned it into a great foundation to help other children receive the prosthetics that they need and can’t afford.

As Annie and I travel about the city and go about our lives here, we look for ways to make a difference. We had a special honor this year. When we came here in November, we carried money donated by a Church in Ohio, to help build a Church on Samal Island.

It all started after a Church Mission trip in 2006. My wife Annie could not believe it when a lady from Central Ohio Southern Baptist announced a women’s mission trip going to Davao, Philippines. “That’s my home!” she told me. “Can I go?” I told her, “Of course you will go!”, and the planning began. Soon, she and six other ladies from central Ohio were headed to Davao to work with the Pastors wives while staying in their homes on Samal Island.

Needless to say, friendships were forged and bonds were created.

In 2009, Annie and I had made a decision to move to Davao. Out of the blue, we received a letter from a Pastor on Samal who wanted to build a new Church building. We were doubtful at first. We had never taken on anything like this and did not know where to start, so, we contacted some of the other ladies from the mission group and a local Pastor from our home town and they said, “Let’s do it!”

Well, we raised some money and after we arrived here, in November, we called the Pastor’s wife and met to present her with the money. She was so pleased and immediately returned to Samal to order supplies to finish building the Church.

Next week, we will attend services in their new building (nearly finished) and take pictures to show our friends, who raised the money for this project. We are very excited to see the new building and meet the rest of the congregation. We are humbled by those who work so hard to reach their dreams.
What a wonderful world we live in and how blessed we are to live in these times. Hope and love for our fellow man is indeed alive.

After receiving his award, Efren Peñaflorida said this;
“Our planet is filled with heroes, young and old, rich and poor, man, woman of different colors, shapes and sizes. We are one great tapestry, each person has a hidden hero within; you just have to look inside you and search it in your heart, and be the hero to the next one in need.

“So to each and every person inside in this theater and for those who are watching at home, the hero in you is waiting to be unleashed. Serve, serve well, serve others above yourself and be happy to serve. As I always tell to my co-volunteers … you are the change that you dream as I am the change that I dream and collectively we are the change that this world needs to be.”

I agree, “We are the change that this world needs to be”.

I started to write this article after reading Bruce’s article about having a Christmas party for the kids at Agdao Public Market. I re-wrote it after seeing Efren Peñaflorida’s story last night. It’s the simple things we do that mean so much, to those we help.

I hope each of you will step-out on faith and step-up to the challenges you see all around you and become someone’s Hero.

Steve in Davao

When I was a child and before the new school year started, my mom would take my brother and me to purchase clothes for school. My mom would tell us “These are for the school year. Take care of this clothes and change when you get home, we cannot afford to replace them.”

At home or especially when visiting someone else’s home we were taught never to climb on the furniture. We were taught to respect things on a home and outside. If we ever caused damage to anyone’s belongings, whether it was our own or someone else’s, we were punished and had to make restitution by doing chores or some assistance to who we damaged their items.

We had curfews and bedtimes. We had to be home before dark and be in bed and asleep early on school nights. Homework was monitored and checked.

When I first moved here to Davao, I would notice young kids playing and running around the streets as late as 11pm. They would climb on cars, write things or draw pictures on the dust or dirt on cars. When told not to, they would laugh, run away and when you are not looking come back and do it again.

I have yet to see a parent discipline their child or spank one. I think at times the kids are just let to run wild and nobody cares, until they are arrested.

We have one niece, a single mother of two, ages two and four, with a third on the way visiting us since before our nephews wedding. These kids climb on the furniture as if it is a Jungle Jim, run around the house while the mother just watches and ignores them.

Our living room set has a decorative rope covering the change of material on the front of the arms and base on the two chairs and sofa. After a few days here, I saw the rope pulled loose from one of the chairs. We spoke to the mother and told her to please talk to the kids and explain that it is furniture and not a toy. Well, the kids still run around, climb on everything like it is a park toy and then I noticed the rope pulled loose in three other places. Do we get an apology and monitoring of the kids, nope, no change at all?

I also realized today, younger relatives and small children are taught to give “Blessing” when they or you arrive home. This niece and her kids have not done this at all. After I mentioned this fact, Elena mentioned it to her and the reply was “Oh, I forgot.” Forgot, this is something that is so ingrained into the culture it almost becomes automatic. At times, I think the respect is forgotten but they just know automatically to do it.

My feelings are that, as I have noticed, many things in this culture are completely opposite to the culture in America and probably Europe. In America, you are taught to take care of your things and others. It is expensive to be replaced. Here I think the attitude is “we lived without it before, we can live without it again.

I try to be patient, these are my wife’s family and I do not want to make her choose or feel she is in the middle but to me, respect is respect. At the wedding and over Christmas I was happy to see many of our family we do not see often. As many were leaving to go back to their province, I hugged them and told them I would miss them. Unfortunately, one niece and her kids are extending their stay and I look forward to them leaving.

Even though it makes me feel isolated, I am starting to get used too many times I do not hear English. I am getting used to the nieces who live in our home to ignore me and not have any discussions, but in a country where “face” and “respect” is so important, are those terms only for Filipinos?

I know others have this situation and others do not. I wonder what the key to the difference is.

OK, I let out some steam. Thanks for bearing with me.

Well, through the Expat group, Friends of Mindanao I learned of and visited a wonderful and different concept for a well needed charity. This is Balay Sa Adunay Pangandoy or Home of Those who have Ambition.

There is a man, Dennis T. Mabayao who as a seminarian worked doing ministry work at the Davao City Jail and Rehabilitation Center. There he had an opportunity to meet many young boys who, for different reasons were in custody at this facility. Because of poverty and peer pressure, these boys were arrested and incarcerated for crimes, including stealing, drugs or even gang murder.

Dennis realized these boys, once their sentence ended would have no decent life. The pressures that drove them into a young life of crime would be even worse since they now have a criminal record. With this realization, Dennis had a dream that he put into action. With the help of a church organizations support at first, on November 3, 2004 he opened the home. They started with about 14 teen-aged boys, which is the capacity of their location. They were given the land and built a home for the boys.

These boys live in the home, go to local schools for their education and at the home receive spiritual and life skills training. The boys have strict rules of their schooling, studies, and chores at the home. They know if they break these rules, they will be asked to leave the home. Dennis is a kind and loving man but is strict to keep the boys on a straight road to a better life. Dennis had a radio show and an herbal supplement business, but gave this up to be able to have the time needed to run the home. With giving his life to the home and the boys, he expects the best in return.

Presently there are eight boys staying at the home. Two are college students, five high school students and one elementary pupil. They hope they can accept more boys in the future but now their financial resources are limited. The home can accommodate a maximum of 14 boys.

The emphasis of the home is on education and formation. They constantly monitor the boys to make sure that they attend their classes and do their assignments. At the home, the boys must be present for morning and evening prayer and do their scheduled assignments, such as cooking, cleaning, washing and caring for the pets and plants. This all helps to instill a sense of order and discipline to their character.

They regularly conduct group and individual counseling, life skills training lectures, school, and home visitation to observe their performance. They try their best to balance the programs and services so that they can achieve their objectives as stated in their manual of operation: “To provide education, to provide spiritual and human formation and to provide life skills training programs.”

These boys, without the home and the education would probably continue their life of crime, since they will be back in the “unwanted” part of the population. Many street boys who live a life of crime lose their lives due to gang turf wars or vigilante killings.

At the home, to earn income they thought of raising pigs but the location prohibited this type of business. They then tried growing vegetables for sale, but that was not a profitable enterprise. They now have large holding ponds breeding tropical fish and cages for the breeding of parakeets and lovebird pet store distributors. They also have a selection of plants and clay pots for sale, which were donated to the home.
Dennis and his dream are wonderful. Most people look at the cute little faces of the young children and their hearts go out to them, but the older children are ignored and forgotten. With the poverty, broken homes, many older boys end up in crime and then forgotten. Dennis is a man with a dream he turned into reality. He took these boys and gave them a chance to get their education and self-esteem back so they can become productive citizens with a future. However, this dream comes with a price. The support of the home and the feeding and schooling of these boys need the help of others to keep this dream alive.

If you would like to help, use the PayPal donation button on my site. Just leave a comment on the donation that your donation is for Dennis and his dream and the money will be forwarded to him.

alay Sa Adunay Pangandoy or Home of those who have ambition, registered in the Philippines Securities and Exchange Commission as Non Stock, Nonprofit organization with SEC Reg. NO. CN 200827995

Please help Dennis continue his dream and give these and future boys a chance in life. Let us make these “forgotten” boys have something they will never forget, that there are people who care. Let us also give them a Christmas they never thought they could have and a future life with Dennis.

Help Dennis and Donate to his Dream