BTW, Bruce, I wonder if you would not mind to write about your experiences from earlier in your marriage with you Pinay wife…
It would be nice to compare the notes.
Myself, I have been married to my wife for just 2 years now, thereof, we are still considered newlyweds.
There are so many, by themselves very insignificant things we are going trough day by day in our life together that have to do with our cultural differences, which is totally different from what I have experienced with white ladies before…
For example, sometimes I joke with my wife that she has no sense of humor, does not understand sarcasm. Also from time to time, when I comment on something and forget about it next second she remains upset about it for 2 days because she takes everything personally.

With humor, we make jokes or joke about things with words that sound the same or with different words with the same meanings.  For instance, a child’s joke: What is black and white and read (red) all over?” There are two answers, “A newspaper” which is black (print), White (paper) and read all over (by many people). The second answer is “an Embarrassed Zebra” Since a zebra is black and white and red all over from embarrassment (blushing).

The problem is many Filipinos, even if they speak English well, in many cases translate the English to their language and the try to understand the meaning. Unfortunately, most of the humor gets lost in translation. Even when you explain the reason for the humor, it is still lost on them.

From what I have learned, many Filipino jokes are based on someone’s mistake in language. There was a lot of laughing and repeating when a politician won his election and was quoted saying “I told you I would win by a mudslide” where he meant landslide.

Another problem here with language and understanding is many Filipinos are insecure with their use of English. Because of this, they feel insulted easily if they hear an American expression, where it is just an expression in American English. Sarcasm is taken as an insult and like most women; they let being upset to fester for days. Their feelings are hurt and they will make you suffer for hurting them.

Once day I was upset with my wife and commented to her “you are a pain in the ass.” Well she was so upset; she would not talk to me. During this point, we were driving to an English friend’s restaurant for lunch.  While there, our friends asked what the problem was since he saw the tension between us.  One of mentioned my use of the expression.  He calmly explained to Elena what the expression meant and that it is just an expression to let off steam. Good thing he explained and Elena understood. Now we joke with it. I now say, “You are a pain in the ass, but you’re my pain in the ass” showing I love her and she is mine.

Something else we do not realize, with all the poverty and difficult life in the Philippines, Filipinos are a proud people and do not like outsiders to be insulting to their country and way of life. They know the problems, but they have resigned to the fact that these problems will not change and this is how life is here.

Another problem is as a foreigner in their country and at times, we generalize about the country or the people. This is insulting to most Filipinos, even if they agree with you. In anger or when upset many foreigners will say, “You Filipinos are this, or that.” In addition, they will be upset because you are saying all, not some or most.  It is the same when we are overcharged and they tell you, “Well Sir, you’re a Rich American.” Many Filipinos think all Americans or Foreigners are wealthy and can afford the higher price.

Now, this reader mentioned how he will make a comment, he will forget it in a few seconds, and his wife would stay mad for days. I am curious, if he was ever married to an American woman. Is this attitude ever different? Men typically let off steam and then forget it, women will remember and remind you of things you have done wrong for years. Another old joke is “What does an elephant and a wife have in common? They both never forget.”

Unfortunately, for this reader and many others who have a Filipina wife in their home country, the wife will find and associate with other Filipinos. With this, they never fully immerse themselves in the English language. Many times, they will purchase an extended cable package so their wife can watch TV from the Philippines.

When I was originally planning to bring Elena to America, I mentioned to her, once she arrived and were settled, I was going to have her attend an advanced ESL (English as a Second Language) course and also have her read English newspapers and read books to better immerse her in the language.

There are many sites with the subject of living, retiring or just visiting the Philippines. Some of these sites make it look like it is the best place to live with no problems attached. They make it feel as you walk off the plane sexy native girls in bikinis will put flower leis around your neck and if you wish, offer you a night in Heaven with them.  Other sites makes it sound like the worst place to live and the only reason they are here is because they could not afford to live in their home country and were forced to move here.  Neither of these scenarios is correct. There are good parts to living here and parts that are that are very different from life we are used to.

Even in the States if you move from one coast to another or even across the State, there are differences. I remember after I moved to California from New York friend berating me for saying often “in New York this….” or “in New York that…” He was right. I was so used to things, life and foods in New York, I had trouble getting used to the differences. Again, when I moved to Florida from California it took time to adjust. With so many people in Florida are from New York, I again got frustrated with things that were not really “New York” style.

You need to remember this is a Third World Nation. There is a lot of poverty. In addition, this is an Asian country and most of the culture has developed with an Asian mentality. It is true this country was under the Spanish rule for many years, and then by America but the main influence is Asian. For many centuries, the Chinese were here and the old Chinese families own much of the bigger corporations.  There is also a large Japanese and Korean influence here.

Many of the hard good products here are manufactured in China. In addition, as most of we know there are many products we would consider substandard.  There are “rip offs” of known products, especially cell phones that look just like the real object. They are much cheaper but unfortunately, they do not work as the original or last.

Even with known foods turn out to be different. Most bread here has sugar and is sweet. Beef and pork are tougher then we are used to. This is because in most of the world pigs and cattle for meat are the males. Also at a young age, they are castrated so there is not testosterone to toughen the meat and the animal is smaller. Here they are hogs and bull meat. These animals are raised to their maximum size and because of this; their muscles are stronger so the meat will be tougher.

Being a nation of many islands fish is the main food protein source. In addition, rice is the main food staple. Most Filipinos eat rice at the three main meals a day. It is not a side dish or about a cup of rice, it is a huge pile of rice on the plate. Pork and chicken are eaten often, but the chickens are small. About pork, Filipinos love the fatty parts and because of this most of the pork, you see has a thick layer of fat.

Clothes in bigger sizes are hard to find and for some reason I do not understand, the size you see is smaller than in the US. I am not talking about small, medium or large. I am talking about things like slacks. In the US, I wore 36-inch waist. Here I need a 40-inch size. I have wide feet. Not only is it difficult to find a size 12, it has been impossible to find a wide or E width.
Traffic is something to get used to here. I have a friend riding with me the other day. He told me he had owned a car and had driven his whole life, but he would never attempt to drive here. Many foreigners hire drivers so they do not have to bother.

So, where are the good parts to living here? Well we all know, the biggest reason is the cost of living.  Even though some items are actually more expensive here, over all the cost of living is cheaper.  Where in the states can you live in a city area and have a nice two to four bedroom house in an upper scale gated community for around $85,000. Where can you go out for a nice steak dinner for $25? Where can you play golf with a golf cart and a caddy for around $30?

If you are a single man in the retirement age, where can you find a girl and have a relationship from an age of their early 20’s to 30’s? It might not be the exact relationship you think of in the States but you both get what you are looking for. You just need to set your needs and boundaries.

Is living in the Philippines a total paradise? No, but where is there a paradise.

There are differences in all relationships no matter if you are from the same country, same culture, same racial background, same age range or any mix of them. Here you mostly see older retired men with young women. It is not just expat men, even many times you see older Filipinos with young women on their arm.

Here in the Philippines there is much poverty. Many families barely can afford a bowl of rice a day. Many employed Filipinos earn so little income it is difficult to feed and clothe their families.  In the Provinces there is even less opportunities to earn a living. Because of this, many young people come to the cities to look for employment. However, the cities are so over populated; the competition for jobs is huge. Because of this, many families encourage their daughters to seek relationships with men from foreign countries on the internet or through friendships with Filipinas already involved in a relationship with a Foreigner.

Because many men from around the world find a strong attraction to Asian women and since English is spoken here to some degree by, most Filipinos women from the Philippines are very desirable.

There are different ways and reasons foreign men find Filipinas, enter into some form of relationship, and come to the Philippines. Some meet Filipinas in their home country and visit or move to the Philippines after retirement. Some meet a woman on line with the intention of bringing them back to their home country and come here to meet in person and some men move here after retirement to marry a woman they met online or to just play the dating game once they move here.

Now let us discuss a little about the age differences. On one forum site I saw a lot of activity of men bragging how much younger their wife was than their age. I wanted to joke and say my wife is so young, she has not been born yet. OK, it is a fact you see many men in their sixties with women in the early to mid twenties. These men will talk about how well their wife or girlfriend takes care of them. Their women cook, clean and do their laundry. The Filipinas take care of every need the man has and I am not talking about intimate details. The thing is, Filipinas are raised doing these things for their fathers and brothers. Men here are treated on a higher level in most instances. From an early age they are taught how to clean, cook and do laundry. To most, this is their duty.

Now let us look at why these women are interested in older men. I can answer in one word, Security. An older man, especially a foreigner is living on a pension, investments and many times more than one. These men will come here, live in an apartment or house of better quality than where the women family lives. They will eat better quality foods, wear better quality clothes and have a better quality of life. Is this love? To everyone, love has a different definition. Love is a word of a feeling, an emotion; it has no real description except for how each person describes it for himself or herself.

Many times a girl’s parents will support their daughter to use an internet café and if needed, live in another city in a boarding house to be able to find a foreigner husband. The family will expect the girl’s boyfriend to assist in the support of her family.

Some women want a foreign husband and to leave the Philippines, some prefer to stay. Again, each has their own reasons. From what I have learned from discussing this with different people I have met, I feel women who grew up in deep poverty want to escape this country and never look back. On the other hand, women that grew up in a better environment look for the foreigner to move here and upscale their living.

Now I want to discuss the types of women men meet here. Most men are attracted to all young women you see on the street, in the malls and in the bars. Everywhere you go you see many young, beautiful and sexy women. In addition, many of these women are interested in an older foreigner as I mentioned above. Many times young women we know ask if I know of a single foreigner. Then they say if I do know of some, would I give him to them.

One man I know who has retired here was commenting that most of the young women he has met are mostly looking for him to take them out dancing, drinking or meals and never let the relationship escalate to a more intimate level. When he takes them out, they bring a group of friends and he ends up picking up the bill for the whole crowd. He plans to remain in the Philippines. He would marry a woman who is honestly looking for a long-term relationship and not someone to pay the bills for a night out on the town. He asked a group of us, how he could find such a woman. My thought on this matter is this; does he honestly think a female in her early twenties sees an overweight foreigner in his sixties and thinks, “Wow, what a man, I am in love.” In my mind, they see a man and if they feel there is some level of compatibility, she would be content to marry him and improve her life and maybe help support her family.

He also mentioned he would like a woman that has some higher education and her English is better to easily talk with her and have discussions. I told him this is something I have thought about after hearing this from many men visiting here in Davao. Most of the females with a higher education are employed. They work in an office or a mall. These jobs usually are long hours. Some malls employees work from opening to closing, which is usually 10am to 10pm. If a mall has a midnight sale, these sales people are working even longer hours. Many of these girls are from the Provinces and came to Davao for better job opportunities. They do not make a lot of money and usually share a boarding house room. However, they usually speak better English and have a friendly manor and a happier outlook on life. With the long hours, most of these females go home after work and have no energy or free time to hang out in a disco or bar.

Therefore, who are the females available to party all night, the unemployed? These are the women out there trying to find a “rich” foreigner. They enjoy the drinking and dancing and have learned how to play up to a perspective foreigner. For some this is a way to find a future partner and some it is a business with a few men they are involved with.

Now, my feelings have developed over time here and I realize with the poverty and the high unemployment, this is a way for females to survive. Even the business of GRO’s (General Recreation Officers), females that work the bars. Some are available for extras and some are just there for men to have someone to dance, drink and talk with. Even prostitution is a means for a female, or male to support their family when regular employment is difficult to obtain.

Now I know many of you have other thoughts on this subject and some of you who will tell me I am wrong. This is my opinion and view from living here and things I have notices and heard. I welcome other views and stories. I just ask all comments be respectful to this site, any other visitor’s comments and me.

Well, through the Expat group, Friends of Mindanao I learned of and visited a wonderful and different concept for a well needed charity. This is Balay Sa Adunay Pangandoy or Home of Those who have Ambition.

There is a man, Dennis T. Mabayao who as a seminarian worked doing ministry work at the Davao City Jail and Rehabilitation Center. There he had an opportunity to meet many young boys who, for different reasons were in custody at this facility. Because of poverty and peer pressure, these boys were arrested and incarcerated for crimes, including stealing, drugs or even gang murder.

Dennis realized these boys, once their sentence ended would have no decent life. The pressures that drove them into a young life of crime would be even worse since they now have a criminal record. With this realization, Dennis had a dream that he put into action. With the help of a church organizations support at first, on November 3, 2004 he opened the home. They started with about 14 teen-aged boys, which is the capacity of their location. They were given the land and built a home for the boys.

These boys live in the home, go to local schools for their education and at the home receive spiritual and life skills training. The boys have strict rules of their schooling, studies, and chores at the home. They know if they break these rules, they will be asked to leave the home. Dennis is a kind and loving man but is strict to keep the boys on a straight road to a better life. Dennis had a radio show and an herbal supplement business, but gave this up to be able to have the time needed to run the home. With giving his life to the home and the boys, he expects the best in return.

Presently there are eight boys staying at the home. Two are college students, five high school students and one elementary pupil. They hope they can accept more boys in the future but now their financial resources are limited. The home can accommodate a maximum of 14 boys.

The emphasis of the home is on education and formation. They constantly monitor the boys to make sure that they attend their classes and do their assignments. At the home, the boys must be present for morning and evening prayer and do their scheduled assignments, such as cooking, cleaning, washing and caring for the pets and plants. This all helps to instill a sense of order and discipline to their character.

They regularly conduct group and individual counseling, life skills training lectures, school, and home visitation to observe their performance. They try their best to balance the programs and services so that they can achieve their objectives as stated in their manual of operation: “To provide education, to provide spiritual and human formation and to provide life skills training programs.”

These boys, without the home and the education would probably continue their life of crime, since they will be back in the “unwanted” part of the population. Many street boys who live a life of crime lose their lives due to gang turf wars or vigilante killings.

At the home, to earn income they thought of raising pigs but the location prohibited this type of business. They then tried growing vegetables for sale, but that was not a profitable enterprise. They now have large holding ponds breeding tropical fish and cages for the breeding of parakeets and lovebird pet store distributors. They also have a selection of plants and clay pots for sale, which were donated to the home.
Dennis and his dream are wonderful. Most people look at the cute little faces of the young children and their hearts go out to them, but the older children are ignored and forgotten. With the poverty, broken homes, many older boys end up in crime and then forgotten. Dennis is a man with a dream he turned into reality. He took these boys and gave them a chance to get their education and self-esteem back so they can become productive citizens with a future. However, this dream comes with a price. The support of the home and the feeding and schooling of these boys need the help of others to keep this dream alive.

If you would like to help, use the PayPal donation button on my site. Just leave a comment on the donation that your donation is for Dennis and his dream and the money will be forwarded to him.

alay Sa Adunay Pangandoy or Home of those who have ambition, registered in the Philippines Securities and Exchange Commission as Non Stock, Nonprofit organization with SEC Reg. NO. CN 200827995

Please help Dennis continue his dream and give these and future boys a chance in life. Let us make these “forgotten” boys have something they will never forget, that there are people who care. Let us also give them a Christmas they never thought they could have and a future life with Dennis.

Help Dennis and Donate to his Dream

If you watch the news you have seen the disaster in Manila and Luzon. You might be saying, “Why is Bruce writing about something as trivial as street flooding in Davao where the water is just a few inches deep when people are missing and drowning in Manila”?

I try to write about living here in Davao. I watch the TV and see what is happening in Manila and understand the tragedy effecting the people in Manila. I lived in California for 18 years and Florida for 10. I have seen the destruction, loss of property and lives an earthquake, tornado and a hurricane leave in its wake. I vividly remember the destruction in New Orleans from Hurrican Katrina and  lived through the year 3 hurricanes hit south Florida and especially Hurricane Wilma.

I have been lucky in my life that I have had no major losses from any of these natural phenomenon.

Back to the reason for this article; I write about life here in Davao as I observe and experience living here. Even though I showed some street flooding, that was what I saw and experienced Sunday. There are areas in Davao that are so low, when there is a rain storm, houses are flooded and streets so low people cannot get to or away from their homes. It is nothing like the tragedy in Manila, and I do feel for them, but I live in Davao and I report about life here.

If your a reader and you feel I am trivializing the flooding here, I am sorry. For me, why should I write about Manila? It is all over the news and the internet. Since I am not experiencing the floods there, all I could do it paraphrase what is already written and avaliable.

Let us all pray for the survival of all the family’s suffering from this disaster.

Approximately thirty minutes after posting the article I received an email from PayPal that I received $2.10 USD (approx 100 pesos). This donation was from a Filipina reader from Luzon. This lady is someone who has followed my site for a long time now and through emails has gotten to know each other fairly well. She has some online and virtual businesses and at times we have both asked each other for advice on internet matters.

This lady does not have a lot of money and has times she struggles to support herself and her children. The amount is not a lot in value, but huge in feeling. I sent this lady a thank you email letting her know how thoughtful she was. She replied that her grandmother taught her “you receive more than you give.” She felt since she finds value from my site, and our friendship that has develop, she wanted to show her appreciation.

A few weeks later, I told her about how I met an American here in Davao that has a business supplying content for some large websites. I mentioned to this lady, it might be something she would be interested in applying for. No contact was made, but the next day I received $5.00 in my PayPal account from her again. As before I emailed her to thank her and she explained her reason again. She wrote back about her grandmother and how she was taught “Before your cup can be filled, you need to empty the existing contents.” She explained in her life, at times when she goes through her closet and takes out items she does not use, or worn and gives to a charity, or to someone in need, she receives new clothes as a gift or a money gift where she can go shopping.

I still have not been able to connect this lady with the man in the content business, but we still keep in contact to see how each is doing. Last week I received another donation. I saw her online in one of the chat programs and thanked her. She mentioned she was thinking about our friendship and decided, since she has a little extra in her account, to donate again.

Now, the amount she has giving me is just enough to maybe have a small meal, or something small, and not enough to support me or my family, but the value of her thought and friendship is riches.

It is also interesting with all the Foreigners that follow this site, ask for advice and or information, nobody else has donated. I do need to make this clear, I am not asking for, expecting, or even begging for my readers to support me. I realized a while ago, this site is something that has become part of me and I will not earn enough to support myself here. I will not get rich or even make enough for a good meal. I am just showing to all readers who have distrust or fears of making friendships with Filipinos, here is a lady with so little but has a need in her heart and soul to show her appreciation in our friendship, the value of my writings, how I try to teach other foreigners what to expect living here or just a visit and right or wrong, it is the way it is and it is their culture.

I know this lady will know I am writing about her, so in this puplic forum I want to say to her Thank You so much and I cherish and value our friendship. You are a wonderful lady. If your Grandmother is still alive, please tell her my admiration for how she has raised a wonderful person. If she is gone and up in heaven, I know that she is watching you and already knows.

There are many reasons a foreigner comes to the Philippines. It can be because of a work related trip, a vacation, investigating moving here, or because they have retired here.

There are many people who have lived here a lot longer than I have and have their own views with friendships and lifestyles. I can only discuss my views and observations. One of the things I have learned in my 21 months living here is to open yourself to meet people, but take your time developing your friendships with both Filipinos and non-Filipino people.

Here in Davao there are many groups with meetings. Each has a different charter or membership conditions. They have their own reasons why they started the group and over time they have redeveloped themselves in a different direction. Then with the change of leadership the attitude or atmosphere of the group can change too. I have listed some of these groups in past articles and am not planning to give their names now. This is more about the relationships that develop or end over time.

Just as when you lived back in your home country, there are people you enjoy to have as a friend and some personality types you avoid. Over time, some people you considered as friend, for some reason, you find they are not the type of person you need in a friendly relationship. Here is no exception. Most times the only thing you have in common is that you’re a foreigner and not a Filipino.

The problem here is with all the foreigners you meet, rarely do you meet someone that you knew back in your home country. Because of this, some people find they can reinvent themselves into someone they are not. Who will know? I am open, and sometimes too open. There is little I am ashamed of in my past and do not mind relating items about myself.

When I first moved here and with my need to find people to talk to in English and share common knowledge I joined some of the groups. I would go to every activity they had. Each one had a different theme but for me it was meeting English speaking people. Over time, I left one group and joined another. Sometimes splinter groups develop.

Now I have developed friendships. Some are casual friendships and some are developing into deeper friendships. That is something I prefer. A family dinner together, a lunch or a day’s activity. I am more comfortable with a few friends or couples instead of large groups.

With this, my best advice is once you move here, be open to meeting people, go to meetings or be open to having a coffee or lunch with people you meet. Let the friendship develop slowly in its natural course. If you sense a problem, move back and see if the problem clears and the friendship redevelops. Offer information about yourself, but not your whole life. This has caused problems with me from my openness.

Because of the life here, at times bitterness develops. Someone you trusted as a friend turns around and starts their campaign to discredit you or drive people away. It is the same as back in your home country, but magnified mores so here because of the smaller amount of Expats and the sharing of information between them. Be careful, even though tsismis (chiz’-miz) is a popular activity, at times, Expats are not to0 far behind.

In America, if you need assistance with the house cleaning, most average families hire a cleaning lady or company to come once a week, or twice a month to take care of the heavy cleaning. These people come to your house on the assigned days and to the vacuuming, mopping, dusting and scrubbing of the bathrooms and kitchen. After they are done, they leave. The cost, depending where you live can be around $50.00 USD.

Here in the Philippines, most homes, if they need the extra help hire a domestic helper that lives in the house. Many times they are young, fifteen to eighteen years old. They usually come from the provinces and/or a poor family. Their pay is usually around 1,500 pesos (approx. $30 USD) a month at first. Most of these girls only keep enough from their pay for their necessities and then send the rest of their pay home to assist their family. Besides their pay, they have room and board included, plus you usually pay any transportation costs to come from their province, if you arraigned their employment through a relative who lives in that province.

When Elena decided to hire a helper for the house, she did not want a girl who lives locally in Davao. She had two reasons for this decision.  First was, she did not want a girl that had friends or family to go meet or visit unannounced and the second was security. It would be easy for the girl to tell friends what valuables we have in the house and our schedules for being absent from the home. We have heard stories of items stolen and the helper disappearing too.

To find a domestic helper, Elena contacted two of her sister-in-laws from Surigao Province. One of her sister-in-laws spoke to some of the families she knew and found a seventeen year old girl that had graduated from high school and was interested to come. This girl, Mira, comes from a family of six siblings and is the next to youngest. She has dreams of saving and eventually be able to go to college.

From the moment Mira arrived in the house, she was a good fit. As she entered the house she saw dirty dishes in the sink from lunch. Without saying a word, she put down her bags and started washing the dishes. After we had a snack and Elena showed her where she could put her belongings and where she would sleep, Mira continued to do the basic cleaning of the house.

Now, different homes treat their help differently. If they have an extra small bedroom, that is for the helper. Unfortunately we do not have that luxury, so we bought a folding bed and Mira sleeps in one of our niece’s bedrooms.

Also many families keep a separation between the domestic help and the family. They are sometimes fed cheaper Filipino foods and they are not allowed to eat until the family is done. Or else they have to eat at a separate table. We are different, even though Mira is an employee; she sits with us at the table and shares the same foods we eat. We talk to her as if she is part of the family. Our three nieces treat her almost as a little sister. Is this a good thing or not, time will tell. I have heard stories of domestic helpers, especially if young, those get homesick, or have saved enough money for something they wanted and then quit after one or two months. I have also heard of domestic helpers that were treated as bad as a slave, quit after a month too.

At first she was surprised how we have her sit with us for meals, how our nieces would talk to her and how we did not treat her as just an employee. Sunday is her day off, but since she does not know Davao nor has any friends here, we took her with us the day we went to SM Mall to see the Kadayawan floats. When we first got there we all went to our favorite restaurant. When we sat, we told her to look at the menu and order what she likes. She followed me and our nieces and had the Curry Chicken. She was so surprised we allowed her to join us for lunch and thanked us many times.

Another difference I have seen is in the malls or at restaurants. I have seen domestic helpers sitting in the wait area as the family they work for enjoys a nice meal. I do not know if the helper was fed first, allowed to eat later or had to wait until they returned home.

Now, I know I am new at having a helper in our home, and I am following Elena’s lead at how we treat Mira. I just feel this is how we should treat her. Just as if anyone is at our house, from a friend of ours, a friend of one of our nieces or even a tradesman friend discussing a project. If it is meal time, they are asked to join us to share the meal. If they get shy and say they will wait in the Sala until we are done, we get adamant and insist them joining us.

As always, I encourage hearing your comments, and you can tell me if you disagree with the way we treat Mira, but do it with respect. If you have had bad experiences, good experiences or stories you have heard are welcome. Any overly insulting comments will either be edited or deleted.

But, we guessed that they would do the same and have the floats on display at SM City Mall in Ecoland but we were disappointed.

We did our usual Sunday morning chore of going to the Palengke for our usual meat, fish, and vegetable and fruit purchases. After we were done we stopped at McDonalds for a quick breakfast. When we got home we unloaded our provisions and after the girls unpacked and put away all the foods, we relaxed a little, showered as usual.

Instead of going to Gaisano Mall, as we usually do, we decided to head out to the other side of town and go to SM to have lunch, see the floats and finish our marketing there. We took two of our nieces, one had review school, and our new addition to our house, our maid/helper (this will be explained more I a future article) and headed out to Ecoland. As I guessed, the parking lot was very full but after waiting in an aisle, a car moved out and we got a decent spot.

The mall was so very much crowed but we made our way to one of our favorite restaurants at that mall, Turquoise, a Turkish Restaurant (More about this restaurant will be highlighted in a future article also). Because of the crowded mall all the restaurants had waiting lines and Turquoise was no exception. We were lucky and only had to wait about 5 minutes until we got a booth and a waiter brought a chair right away for the 5th of our group to sit at the end of the table. The restaurant was overwhelmed with the crowds and also they were short two of their wait staff. Because of this, the meal was slower than usual and Elena had to wait a long time for her entree to arrive.

After we finished we headed out to see the beautiful floats, or so we expected. Last year one whole section was dedicated for the float display. As we were walking and got closer, we saw the area had cars parked. We kept wondering if they moved the display to a different area. We decided to continue to head our way and see for sure. As we got real close, we saw a float towards the far end. As we arrived, we saw there was only one big float, one medium sized and 2 small ones that would have had to be pulled my man or maybe a small vehicle. One other arrived being pulled by a horse. This one came in, passed by us and then continued out of the mall lot to head home, I would guess. We took a few photos and then headed back into the mall. As we got through the crowd at the door Elena and I was going to go to the Super Market and the girls were going to explore the mall.  For reasons that will be explained later in the week about “Peso Mentality” we decided to text the girls to meet us and go to Gaisano Mall instead.

Again, because of the Kadayawan festivities, Gaisano was packed with people. I dropped Elena and the girls off before parking and planned to meet at the Super Market. It turned out there was a show planned with celebrity singers at the mall, so along the rails on the upper floors and the main floor was packed with people. As I went to go outside for a cigarette, the crowds of people entering almost filled the isles to the exit.

I finally met up with Elena, and after we finished the shopping, the girls met us by the cashier. As usual, Elena, now with the girls, went outside with the groceries and I would take the receipts to get our shopping points and go get the car. This is because at Gaisano, the parking is a multilevel parking structure. So I get the car, and drive down to the lower level to have all our bags loaded into the car. Well, by the time I reached the first floor, the isles leading to the Atrium where the stage is was packed with people. I had to squeeze through the crowds to get to the information desk where they enter our receipts into their computer. Then with my ears ringing from the screaming fans, I had to squeeze my way out to get to the escalator to get up to the 3rd floor to get my car.

I know as most people do, and probably more so for Filipinos in Davao, who rarely get to see and hear their famous celebrities in person, the mall was so full. With the threats in this country, and even for a fire emergency possibility, I wonder what would happen, and how many people would get hurt if any type of emergency happened in there with such crowds packed in the mall. I hope and pray it never does.

Maybe next year I will be able to get the energy and give a better report with more “On the Scene” photos of the events of Kadayawan.

There are many festivals and fiestas in Davao. From the neighborhood or barangay to the larger citywide festivals. The biggest festival is the Kadayawan (Ka-da-ya-wan) Festival. This is the 24^th year of this celebration. Officially it is runs from August 18 through the 24^th but there are activities all week.

Kadayawan history:

KADAYAWAN is a festival of thanksgiving for bountiful harvest and tribute to its colorful tribes in Exotic Mindanao.

A celebration that interfaces the three aspects; tribal, industrial and arts and entertainment. The festivities will be highlighted by the floral float, street-dancing competitions and exhibits showcasing the island’s tourism products and services.

Madayaw! – is the warm and friendly greeting derived from the Dabawenyo word “dayaw” that means good. It is also used to describe anything that is valuable, superior or beautiful. Such is “Kadayawan,” a celebration of life, a thanksgiving for the gifts of nature, the wealth of culture, the bounties of harvest and the serenity of living.

The thanksgiving festival was institutionalized in 1986 to unite the Dabawenyos after the turbulent Martial Law years. It was then called Apo Duwaling, a contraction of the famous icons of the city, the Mt. Apo, durian and waling-waling. Two years later, it was renamed Kadayawan to better reflect the merry spirit and indigenous theme of the celebration.

However, today, Kadayawan has metamorphosed into a festival, the mother of many other festivals in the region as it honors Davao’s heritage, its past personified by the ancestral lumads as they celebration on the streets, and its floral industry as they parade in full regalia in thanksgiving for the blessings bestowed.

Through 18 Kadayawan years, Davao City has nurtured a culture of peace in harmony with nature and with great respect to indigenous traditions. It has become the gateway to the arts and culture of Mindanao. All these are found in Kadayawan. Sun.Star Davao

The Festival consists of many activities. Some of the cultural exhibits show the different Lumad (indigenous people) in their native dress and dances. There is also a two parades, one where there are many dance teams in their bright costumes. The next day there is a parade of floats sponsored my businesses and clubs. Last year, after the parade, many of the floats go on display in the parking lot of SM Mall in Ecoland.

For a full schedule of events and more information,visit the Official Kadayawan Website.

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