At 8am, I was on the road with the first group. After they were unloaded, I returned home. Then at 9am, Elena and the rest piled in. We dropped off everyone at the hotel and I then needed to bring Elena to the mall to have her hair treated before going to have it styled by the crew at the hotel. We bought us lunch, but had to take it to the hotel to eat since Elena needed to get in line for her treatments. Then leaving the mall, we had to stop at bridal shop for the slacks of the ring bearer since they were missing.

Once at the hotel, there was no parking, so after dropping off Elena, I had to find a place to park, which is no easy task in downtown Davao. I was lucky to be allowed to park across from the hotel, half on the curb.

I finally made it up to the hotel sweet to find all the bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents of the wedding party, flower girls, ring bearers, two photographers, one videographer, and crew of three hair and makeup people In the two room sweet. I was so tempted to just drop my jeans in front of everyone and get changed, but finally got three females out of the bathroom to quickly get changed. Then after about two hours of everyone preening, there were all the combinations of everyone to be photographed. We finally got the call to head off to the church. Traffic as always was a disaster but we made it through and got to the church in one piece.

Once we arrived, we had to hang out in the parking area since there was another wedding in progress. After they were done, we were rehearsed on the order of entrances, where to stop, where to site and so forth.

Finally, the weeding started and everyone proceeded down the aisle and in place.  I was happily surprised that the ceremony was in English so I could follow and understand what was happening. One nice item was when we stop partially down the aisle to wait for each the bride and groom. The bride is to stop and give “Blessing” to us each by touching the back of her hand on each of our foreheads. As tradition with Janis, she did what we always do, she kiss me on each cheek and forehead and then allowed me to return the same.

After the ceremony, the photographers stepped in and the photos had to be taken.  To shorten the description every combination of parents, bridesmaids, grooms, Ninongs, Ninangs were photographed. The only constant was the new couple and the heat.

Now we needed to get everyone into vehicles to get back to the hotel for the reception. It was rush hour so the streets were clogged with stop and go Jeepneys and other vehicles.  As we got close to the hotel I kept my eyes open for street parking and to my amazement I found a spot a block from the hotel.
The reception room was nicely decorated and I got a chance to chat a bit with some friends as the guests arrived. Then we were seated at the table of honor. Then the MC stated his routine. At an early point, I asked the MC for a few minutes at the mic to give my wishes to the bride and groom since officially I was the father of the groom. This request was ignored.

Dinner was nice and as tradition, even though it was buffet style service for the guests, the table of honor is served. Then was the “dollar dance” where the guests were to come up and “pin” money to the bride and groom. Instead of pinning, they had little envelopes with two-sided tape to tape it to them. Then they did the tossing of the bouquet and the removal of the garter.  A funny tradition here is the single female with the bouquet and the male with the garter have to sit next to each other and the bride and groom behind them. The groom is to kiss his bride on three different places and the guy with the garter after each kiss the girl next to him on the same places. First, he kissed the brides cheek. That went fine. Then on the shoulder, that went fine too. Then the groom kissed the bride on the mid thigh. That brought embarrassments to both, but as troopers, they followed tradition.

Next was the cutting of the cake and the champagne toast. By the time the cake was to be cut and shared to the guests, the waiters had cleared up and had to locate plates to place the cake slices on. By the time that was done, many of the guests had left.

After the reception, I was exhausted and had my bed and pillow on my mind, but no, that was not going to happen. We then had to get all the remaining sections of cake and all the presents to the suite and then watch them opened.

I remember the joke in America couples would get many toasters and blenders. Well we are not in America. Here they received seven rice cookers, six salad bowl sets, three small canister sets, and two each of electric hot water thermoses and clothes irons besides other gifts.

We finally came home for a well-needed night’s sleep. The next morning as I was having my coffee and thinking of the bridge game scheduled at 11am I was informed I had to drive to the hotel and load the car with all the gifts and transport them to the bride and grooms home.

Even with all the stress, deliveries, waiting, heat and more stress, it was a beautiful wedding and reception and I am honored to have been accepted as a surrogate father to my nephew and now proud of being part of their wedding. I love Amar and Janis as my son and daughter-in-law.

If interested, let me know and once we get the photos back from the photographers, I will post and article with a slide show of the best photos.

Amar has lived with his girlfriend/fiancée Janis for a few years. Since he and his brother supported their sisters through college, Amar put his marriage on hold. Now that two of the girls have graduated, he decided he could finally have his wedding. The wedding is going to be today, Friday December 18.

Well, now for all the stress. Elena who is the matriarch of the family had to be involved with everything. First, it was the location. Elena and Janis went to every hotel to get all the information of cost and facilities. Then the bridal shops to find the “perfect” dress. You will say “Bruce, that is the same as in America” but you do not realize all the traffic and taxi rides and of course the discussions. I was lucky, I was not asked for any opinions or advice. I was just kept in the dark until the deal was made.

Then the tour of printers to find the best deal for the invitations. Bargaining here is a way of life, once you find a place you like, you need to continue to find a lower price to use to bargain down the price.  Once the guest list, the wedding party member list was made and the invitations printed, they need to be delivered. If you do not know, the postal service here in the Philippines is a joke. There are not daily deliveries to all homes and at times, if there is only one item to be delivered to an area, they might wait a week to see if there will be more to be delivered. There are times items never show up at all. Because of this, every invitation had to be hand delivered to all invitees.

In addition, in the Philippines, besides a Groomsmen and Bridesmaids, there are Ninong (male) and Ninong (female, also known as Sponsors. They are a major role and have to sign the marriage license as witnesses.

I think, because of the poverty, many save a long time for a wedding and the whole affair is a huge event with as much pomp and display as possible. Peter, the second oldest and the main wage earner of the family offered a nice sum on money towards the wedding.  Because of his generous offer, the wedding is in one of the major hotels. There will be five Ninongs, five Ninangs, four each of Groomsmen and Bridesmaids, a ring bearer, and a flower girl.

For the past week or two, groomsman was canceling and replacements had to be found. A friend of the family was to be the reception planner and musician at the wedding. As time got close, we could not reach her by phone and a then we had to find a replacement.

As of Tuesday, family members started arriving from the provinces. As of now, there are 16 people at our house, three of which are young children. Meals have become more buffet style where each person fills a plate and finds a place to sit. The sleeping arrangements are more like find a spot and squeeze in.

One of our nieces from the provinces was the replacement MC and her little girl to be the flower girl. Tuesday evening this niece called to say she could not attend. She said she would send her daughter with her father to Davao so we have a flower girl.  But then the scramble was on again to find a MC.

Earlier this week was the running around for final fittings of the wedding gown, tuxedos and bridesmaids dresses. Today I had to pick up the groom and bride, fill the car with their items, then stop to pick up all the dresses and tuxedos and bring them to the hotel. Part of the deal they get a suite for the night before the wedding and the wedding night. The morning of the wedding all female members of the bridal party have to be at the hotel early to get their makeup and hair done, and then dressed. Later morning the groomsmen have to arrive to get into their tuxedos. Of course, the photographer will be there to document this part of the festivities.

Then about 2:30pm, all these people have to be transported to the church. The ceremony is to start at 3:00pm, but with “Filipino time” who knows what the actual time it will begin. After the ceremony will be the group photos. As I have seen at other weddings, this can go on forever with every combination of attendees grouped for the photos. Again, all the attendees need to be transported to the hotel for the reception.

If I survive, I will report on the day and hopefully have some photos to share.

The delays were many. First I needed to go to the US Embassy in Manila to get an affidavit of a Capacity of Marriage. That is to say that the United States Government says I am free and clear to get married.
Then Elena needed to get papers and copies of birth certificate from the National Statistic Office (NSO)

In the middle of getting all the documents, Elena had her operation and needed time to recover.

Then we needed to go to City Hall and file for our Marriage License. Once there they requested more copies of everything. Plus we needed to fill out 2 copies of the form for the license. Then we had to do it again since it has to be easily readable and no corrections.

After we filled out the forms we had to meet with the Attorney of the department.

Once filed and paid we had to wait 10 days. After the wait we had to get the packet and approved license.

Since we just want a civil ceremony Elena went to the Courthouse to register with the Clerk of the Court. They in turn gave here a date and time to meet with a Judge for the marriage to be Solemnized.

Since we have made so many friends and acquaintances we decided to just have an open house party then rent a hall or a room in a restaurant. We will have the party on Sunday the 13th.

We invited all the Expats we know and friends of Elena and I invited all from the Architectural Firm I am involved with.

In about a week or so you we see the photos and maybe video of the wedding festivities.