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Why I Married a Filipina? (part 1)

Someone recently in a comment asked about why I moved to the Philippines. I guess he did not read my early posts so I will explain again here. First I will explain why I looked at Filipinas for my possible bride. Then I will continue to describe the history of me and Elena.As I typed this history I noticed it is getting long so I will break up this to a few posts.

It was the year 2004, I had been single for years and not much in the dating scene. I was 51 years old and no luck in meeting the right lady in Florida.

In the States most of the available single women available for a man in his 50’s would be in the mid 40’s on the younger range. They would have been married at least once, had a home, a job and a few kids. The best description about American Woman thoughts about a relationship was best described by a friend when I asked her when she would marry her boyfriend.  They were in a relationship for a few years, loved each other and he would spend some nights at her house. When I asked, she replied “How will marrying him make my life better.

Also, and I am not trying to insult ladies, but many women in my dating age range had, what can I say, either heavier than I desire, too independent, looking for a man with a higher standard of living, or someone to fix their financial problems. I know, not all women are like that, but where I lived and the women I met feel into those categories.

I tried again the dating sites of American ladies. In my profiles I used a recent photo and honest descriptions of myself, my stats, my interests and general financial position. I have always believed, you start a relationship with lies, it ends in insults. Unfortunately the ladies that contacted me or replied to my interest were not what I was interested in meeting. Many times, if I met the lady, her photo was 10 years old and description did not match who she was really about. The first failure was a lady without a photo who had in her description that she was 5’-8’ and 135 lbs. For weeks we emailed, chatted online and then by phone. We finally met. She was about 5’-8” but so heavy I joked after that her right leg was 135 lbs.

At that time, I had a good job, made a good salary, but was tired of living alone without someone to love. Did I need a woman in my life? No. Did I want a woman in my life? Yes. I was thinking, I did not want to grow old alone.

I, like many, always thought of Asian ladies being exotic and beautiful. I also remembered years ago, there was a magazine, Cherry Blossoms. It was like a mail order bride catalog with descriptions, photos and contact ID #. For a fee you could mail the company a letter to a lady, they would attach a translation and forward it to the lady. Her reply would go the same in reverse. At the time, I never used their service, but when I started thinking of finding an Asian lady, I remembered the name and realized with the age of the internet, they might have a website.

Sure enough they did and I browsed through the profiles in the site. Thinking I was going to eventually bring my chosen lady to America, I wanted a lady in the 30-45 range, experience in working and understanding of English.

I joined, paid my fee and started writing my profile. I have always been open and honest so I told the truth about me and posted a recent photo. The next morning I found over 100 emails in the sites mailbox. They were from ladies 18 to 60. Some even told me they were in love with me and ready to come to America to marry me. This scared me, how can a lady who has never seen me, chatted with me, talked to me, be in love with me.

On the site they had a feature where you could see who was online and you could chat with them. I would look through the list and if I saw a photo of someone I thought was pretty, I would click and invite to chat. Once chatting, most would invite to chat on Yahoo IM. Many had web cams so we could see each other too.

At first it was ladies from China and Thailand. There were a few I thought I liked and they would answer in English. Then one day I noticed something that looked like a calculator in their hand. I asked what it was and was informed it was a translator. They would type in my message and it would translate it into their language. I then would ask when I started chatting if they were able to talk in English. Most said no. I could not understand how you could meet a lady to eventually marry if you could not communicate without a translation device. It was then I realized to focus my search with Filipinas.

Next I will write about how I focused on ladies from the Philippines and how I met Elena.

40 Responses to “Why I Married a Filipina? (part 1)”

  1. don m. says:

    i met my wife though cherry blossoms also but in the pre compuiter age. I also received over a hundred letters when i put my picture and blurb in their mag. She was the first one who wrote to me and the one i married.

    • Bruce says:

      Don,
      At the time I saw the magazine version of Cherry Blossoms I was in no financial condition to even think about it. I was just lucky my old brain still remembered it. I am glad you also found that special lady and have been a happy man since. Hope to meet you someday.

      • Lovelyn at Sexy Filipina Dating says:

        It’s nice to hear people get happy because of marrying a good beautiful Filipina of the Philippines. It’s more and more of you getting happy because they finally met their special someone.

        Cheers!

        • Bruce says:

          Lovelyn,
          There are happy stories and horror stories about marriages to Filipinas both here in the Philippines and abroad.

    • melanie says:

      Hi Sir,
      You have a very inspiring love story, I’m glad you found the right girl for you. I want to ask if you two have kids already? I’m engaged with my american boyfriend. Good day to you.

  2. interesting story!

    abangan ang susunod na kabanata! (if you know what that means! 🙂 )

    🙂

    • Bruce says:

      Carey,
      Thanks for visiting and enjoying my article. My sweet wife translated you comment, and I will continue.
      I looked at your site and your photography is amazing. It also make me jealous I never had the chance to see Europe. Maybe if I ever make any rel money on the net Elena and I can travel.

  3. johnray says:

    Bruce, very detailed informing…I never thought you went to such trouble finding your wife..hehehe..I can’t wait for the second part…

    • Bruce says:

      Johnray,
      Thank you. I started writing and it just ran away. It was even difficult to figure out where to stop part 1.

  4. John says:

    Dear Bruce Thank you for writing this column. I have many similar thoughts to yours . Though I am older at 63. I also have many of similar thoughts on American women. I dont think I would have put it as kindly as you have. I also remember the catalogs of foreign ladies before the internet. I have been thinking about this for almost twenty years. Time sure flies when your having fun. I have been reading many of the Philippine blogs and have made a few Philippine friends in the U.S. I am looking for many of the things you were. I am planning to move to Davao, if I can sell my home. I live in Orlando Florida. I dont believe I ever heard where in Florida you lived. If everything goes well I shud be in Davao by mid 2010. Im still trying to understand the cost of living it seems that rental homes are a little higher in Davao. What kind of life style can I have on $2500 US a month. Thank you again for your time and for your interesting articles. John

    • Bruce says:

      John,
      I try to be diplomatic on this site and not to inflame anyone. I did get some complaints about my “English in the Philippines” article. I guess sometimes you have to say it like it is, and there is not diplomacy that works.
      One word of wisdom is to be careful and take your time. Read my article,“Moving to and living in the Philippines (finding that special Filipina”
      To answer where in Florida, I was from the Palm Beach area.
      About the cost of living, depending on how much style you want to live and how much of your Filipinas family you are willing to support, you can live well on $2500 a month. I wish I could have as much to live on.
      Please continue to visit, comment and feel free to contact me with any questions.

  5. Anthony says:

    Bruce,I can truly appreciate the evaluations of American women.If i had not been working so much and had not met my wife by happen chance in the phil on vacation that was most likely my next step as well.You and i as Americans have been truly blessed. Like Johnray i Look forward to the second part.

    • Bruce says:

      Anthony,
      I am glad you agree so others will understand the differences in cultures and differences. Elena has trouble understanding why I did not just find a younger American wife.
      Yes we are both lucky, we have found wonderful women. But foreigners need to be careful, that is why I had the other article and I mentioned in this about being sure and careful.
      The next part will be out in a few days.

  6. ceblogger says:

    Bruce, some people don’t like the idea of inter-cultural marriages. but that is too old-fashioned. love knows no boundaries, and language is not even a hindrance. lucky for you both to find the right one.

    • Bruce says:

      Ceblogger,
      In America inter-cultural and inter-racial marriages are prejudiced in many areas and by many people too. As you say, Love has no boundaries and is color blind too. It is the small people who are wrong. Many people here do not like foreigners too. Some have given foreigners a bad name with unjust attitudes. They do not realize not all of us feel that way. Also we bring money into the local economy.

  7. As a Swede I recognice many of you guys thoughts here. At 38 I feel like my best before date in gone with the girls that would interest me here:). I am honest now. People are so age fixed here too! It is like a 32 year old girl would never even look at someone in my age. I am so tired of all this so I will for sure marry an asian woman one day. If I look up the ages, 38-50…those have children and usually have bad financial situation. As I prefer someone without children it seems like my age group is especially bad to be in…believe me I have loads of friends my age that have exactly my opinion. I have an advantage over these guys though, that I have a lot of experinece with Asia and Asian women since I have been travelling there for 18 years on and off. I have some ideas, maybe I will look at Asian women at 50+ who are financially stable….:)

    • Bruce says:

      Stefan,
      Good luck finding a financially stable Filipina over 50. But if you want a 20-25 year old with little work experience, but will love you and take good care of you, I have a few to introduce you to. 🙂
      Just as I say in my articles, take your time, be careful, set your boundries and then make sure.

  8. pchi says:

    hi bruce,

    first, I’d like to thank you for your compliments/review on my site through linkreferral.

    I read the whole story. I am glad you found somebody to love, who happens to be a Filipina.

    I understand the points/reasons you cited.

    I must add, you happen to be a lucky man. I think not all people who looked for partners through online dating sites were successful.

    welcome to davao!

    • Bruce says:

      Pchi,
      You are welcome. Even though I stopped using linkreferral I only commented on sites I felt I had something in common or an article I could honestly comment on. Too many open sites and close them to get credit and then kill the sites bounce rate.
      I found with online dating, especially if your in same local, there are too many lies. That is why Elena and I chatted for a few years and I visited her 3 times before I moved here. You need to be sure. Even then there are things we learned about each other we did not already know.

  9. Mommy R says:

    Hello Bruce!

    Thank you very much for the visit. I have added your blog already to my friend’s list. By the way, I am looking forward to read your PART 2.

    I have a sister she is around her late 30s. She speaks English and is working as a home sitter for my Aunt in Manila. Do you think she has a chance to marry an American? She was afraid to go back online after she ended up chatting with men fooling over YM. 🙁 She is a widow but no children. Tips? 🙂

    Best Regards,

    Pinay Mommy

    • Bruce says:

      Mommy R,
      Thank you for visitig and enjoying my site. As I replyed to ManilaGirl, I enjoy having Filipinos visiting my site. I know how there are scammers and good people on both sites of the net. My best advice is for her to sign up with some of the dating/meeting/matchmaking sites. Give recent photo, honest answers to the profile and be honest with herself and who ever she meets. Develop a good online relationship before considering meeting the man. Ask alot of questions of the man and make sure he is honest in his plans. Eventually meet but take time with decisions.

  10. john levalley says:

    enjoyed reading your blog…i live in mati, davao oriental..have been here for 3 yers now….married to a much younger sweet and loving filipina..hope we can talk soon
    johnmati43@yahoo.com

    • Bruce says:

      John,
      I am glad you visited again and enjoy my blog.
      I would love to meet with you and talk. Are you planning to visit Davao or do you mean by phone or online chat?

  11. cris says:

    I enjoy your site, and I am happy your luck of finding a good Filipina wife. I am also a Filipina 55 years old married to a 67 years old American. He is 13 years my senior and we have been married for 19 years. I worked in the US, meet him while I was in the US fell in love and got married. It has been 6 years since he had a stroke, so I decided not to go back to work, because I have to take care of him personally. We have here in the Philippines fo 8 years now, and when he had a stroke we desided to stay here in the Philippines .I love him that much that I have to gave up my job in the US and the oppotunity to live there.
    I hope nobody get bored reading this.

    • Bruce says:

      Cris,
      Welcome to my site. I am sorry about your husband but I am sure having a loving wife as you are he is happy and well cared for.
      Where in the Philippines do you live?

  12. Ronnel says:

    I enjoyed reading your story lucky guy, when do you plan to release the 2nd part? 🙂
    I think I meet you before in your office at Buhangin 🙂 but I’m not sure if you can still remember me.

    By the way, now that I accidentally found you, I can now thank you for informing me last year that the company of your american friend in Davao is in need of a senior PHP programmer, because I told my friend about it and he is now working there for almost a year now.

    Thanx….

    Your a nice person, maybe that is why you have your nice lady also.

    • Bruce says:

      Ronnel,
      I remember you. The thing I forget is what company I was helping to find a PHP programmer. Let me know the company and your friends name.
      I hope you will continue to enjoy my site and will tell your friends to visit too.

      There is a part 2, here is the link

  13. Jack Clarke says:

    Thanks, I enjoyed reading your post. It

  14. ruffus stokes says:

    What site can I use to find my lovely Filpina girl?

    • Bruce says:

      Ruffus,

      There are many sites to meet Filipinas and other ladies online. Some words of caution which I have written about many times in articles and comments.
      There are young, and older ladies on these sites. Some are sincere and some are looking to scam a lonely foreign man. First you need to decide what is your purpose and what is your plan. If you want to find a lady to bring to your country or your planning to move here. Are you able to help support her family or not. There are some sincere ladies that also feel the need to help with their family needs.

      If you want more assistance and information, feel free to email me through the “Contact Me” form

  15. Rowdy says:

    Howdy Bruce, I’m Rowdy, the very tall guy from FL. I met you last year at Davao Expats 1st Year Ann. at Coco’s. I like your story above. Even though I was 38 when I first started meeting Asian girls and thinking about them as a future wife my experiences dating American women in my age bracket were the very same as yours.

    My wife and I live near Damosa so maybe we can meet sometime.
    Cheers

    • Bruce says:

      Rowdy,
      I kind of remember you, but I meet so many, I forget names to place with faces. I am around and easy to spot. We are usually at Gaisan mall on sundays and other times too.
      IF you ever want to just meet for coffee, lunch or whatever, just pop me an email through the “Contact Me” tab on top and I will email you me cell number.

  16. mark says:

    Hi bruce i am planning a trip to cebu to meet a girl i have been chatting on line with for about 13 months.And was wondering if we hit it off and i want to bring her here too the states are there any good companys out there to help with this
    thanks mark

    • Bruce says:

      Mark,
      You can file your forms to USCIS yourself. I found contacting your local Congressman or Senator to help speed up the process. Review the requirements so you know what paperwork you need from her side. There are services and attorneys out their, but I do not know which are good or scams.

  17. lena says:

    what an exciting part 2.. i nvr thought there few foreign guys here who IS kindhearted one.hello uncle bruce.. just drop by by ur site. story is good…its nice and a good inspiration to some filipinas and foreign men..hehe..but i do understnd bout the ‘conflict’…u mean,,be aware?? by some filipinas??that wat u mean..but unfortunately yes..sad to say but lots of filipinas are not that true also…and im praying and hoping this will not last.. havee a nice day everyone.

  18. Kayla says:

    I am an asian girl from manila philippines. I learned that lots of american men are searching for a good beautiful asian girl. Of course, there is nothing wrong if you try or seach a girl in the Philippines or in the internet. Just be careful and take your time to know her better before marrying her. We must be clear and strong in every aspect of our lives. I am very interested and waiting to hear the 3rd part of your love story in the Philippines.

  19. john swinson says:

    Hello Bruce, I do not see any current responses, but I hope you are still active. Your responses are most interesting.
    I am an Amerigan man [Georgia and Florida]married to a Filipina.
    We would like to meet other x-pats in the Davao Area.
    Unlike many of your readers, I met my wife through her great Aunt, a good friend{Philippina} in The States.
    My wife is from Davao Oriental. We have bought residential property there. I would also like to buy a small farm/animal property, if a reasonable value could be found. Scams abound.
    If we could meet on our next visit to Davao City, I would be very pleased, you seem to be my kind of people.
    My Filipina wife is a treasure.
    My kindest regards
    John

    • Bruce says:

      John,

      I am currently working and living in Las Vegas. Also my wife Elena will soon arrive here. There is an Expat group in Davao City, Friends of Mindanao. They have a site on the net.

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