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Why I Married a Filipina? (part 2)

 

In part 1 I mentioned how I started using the internet to look for a future wife. At first I was in communication with ladies from China and Thailand. Some had a knowedge of english, but most had very little or none at all.  I then realized from my past, that English is/was taught in the Philippines.

From then on I concertrated my chat with Filipinas since they knew English. Over a few weeks I found a few ladies I was interested in and would chat frequently. As we got to know each other better, I would find things that was not compatible with my needs, my philosophy in life or different from my needs. At the time I had a 2 bedroom townhouse. Some women had a few small children and I was thinking, I would need a bigger home that I could not afford at the time. Others would tell me, even though they had children, they would leave them with their mother or family member with no intention to ever bring to the US.

There was one that was very religious and felt, no matter what, God would provide. I am not an atheist but I do not feel God will help anyone that doesn’t help themselves.

Well one Saturday morning, I was in the site and looking at the photos of ladies online and I saw Elena’s photo. I thought she was beautiful and then read her profile. She was single, no kids, had a college degree, a good job and owned her own home.

Elena had her own computer at home, so it was not waiting for a lady to go to the Internet Café. We started chatting and got to know each other. At first we would chat 2 or 3 times a week on Yahoo Messenger . Then it became every evening fodscf0004r me, morning for her, before she left for work. After a few weeks it was every morning and evening.

Over the next months we would talk about everything, life, loves, and feelings. Nothing was kept secret.  About 6 months later, I decided to fly to the Philippines for 10 days and meet Elena in person. Elena lived in a city on Mindanao that was not too safe for a foreigner to visit, so we decided we meet in Manila. So I went online and found a good deal on Continental Airlines.

What a trip. It started in Florida at about 9am, my next stop was Newark, New Jersey with a 4 hour layover. Then from there the next flight went over the North Pole to a stop in Hong Kong, China. Then a switch to Cathay Airlines to Manila. I did not arrive until 11:45PM. All in all I think it was about 17 hours of travel.

Elena arrived earlier than my long flight. When I got to the exit, I looked for Elena and then was informed security will not allow Filipinos to enter the airport to meet arriving passengers so I found my driver from the hotel and he called Elena on his Cell. Next thing I know I see Elena crossing the street and my first thought, she was more beautiful in person than her photos or the lady I looked at for months on a web cam.

After traveling for about 18 hours and not being able to sleep on the flights, we went to the hotel, checked in and then just talked a little before I needed to sleep. What a first night, Elena having to listen to my snoring through the night.

Because both Elena and I were strangers to Manila we did not know what to do with our days. Each morning Elena would make me a cup of the complementary coffee in the room and once showered and dressed we would go down to the buffet breakfast. The buffet had foods for all types of foreigners. I would usually have eggs and either French toast, pancakes or waffles.

We became friendly with the Assistant Manager Chona. She would always watch over us and when I needed ore coffee, instead of the pot used for most, she would make me a fresh cup. That was one of the beginning signs of the hospitality of Filipinos especially if you are nice to them.

In the first few days we would go down to the hotel pool, browse around a small mall across the street, of just go to the room to get to knodscf0069w each other better.

One morning, talking to Chona, we talked about things to see in the city. I wanted to see Corregidor, a small rocky island which is at the entrance of Manila Bay. Growing up watching all the WWII movies, I wanted to see such a historical place.

We hired a driver from the hotel to take us to the dock where you take a boat to the island. When you arrive you are brought to the Corregidor Hotel where you are severed a buffet lunch. Waiting for the tour to arrive I met Sheila, one of the tour guides. She was fun and liked to joke. So we made sure we got on her tour bus. We saw the place General McArthur said the famous words “I shall return.”

It was a fun day especially with the joking from Sheila. There was also a Filipina on the tour whose father was on the Baatan Death March and related a story. He survived the march because of Filipinos would toss down to the marching captives water and foods wrapped in Banana leaf parcels.

We also went to see Fort Santiago, which is part of the walled city of dscf0040Intramuros. They had bronze statues of men in military uniforms to make it feel more realistic.

In the evenings we usually went to the lobby where they had a bar, seating and some form of live music.

All in all, Elena showed me the loving hospitality a Filipina has for her man. From making me coffee in the room, helping me with my clothes in the room, always concerned with me for my comfort, eating, beverages. What to do or not do being a stranger in her country.

We were like young lovers. If we were in the room, dscf0016she would squeeze in next to me in the arm chair I would sit. We would walk holding hands or arms around each other.

The day we were to fly back to our perspective homes, there was tears in our eyes as I got out of the taxi at the International departure area at the airport.

129 Responses to “Why I Married a Filipina? (part 2)”

  1. Ray says:

    Hi Bruce

    Glad to hear you found your dream girl. 🙂

    • Bruce says:

      Ray,
      Thanks. As time goes on we develop into our routine, things change, but Elena still takes such good care of me.

      • Ray says:

        Bruce may I ask how long you have been married?

        • Bruce says:

          Ray,
          Legally we have been married almost 9 months.
          I have been here and living with Elena almost 16 months.
          It feels longer since, even when I was still in the US, Elena and I would chat on cam and headsets every morning and evening.
          Since living here we have learned from experiences that we are alot as we have know, but there is always something new about each other that we have to learn and accept with each other, but overall we still love to spend some time with each other and enjoy each others company.

      • lyn says:

        Hi Bruce, It reminds me of my husband when he first visit me in the Phiilppines, it was one of the ebst time of my life…cant measure happenies though, and i always smile everytime he tells me “honey stop treating me like a King” hehehe will i think its just a nature of a loving filipina, you dont need to ask what you want and need coz we know and we want our husband be pleased all the time. Were married for 6 years now and he still keep telling his friends and family how lucky he was to find a girl back in the Philippines..and he always add…A TREASURE TO KEEP”

        • Bruce says:

          Lyn,
          I am happy you have found such a loving man that also appreciates your love and kindness. I have written about good relationships and bad on this site. It is nice you wrote to let us all know true love does exist.

          • marilyn says:

            good day to all..! im a filipina here too..its so nice to hear foreigners who really appreciates filipina women here… how i wish i cud be one of them who found their true love online…
            and meet that guy who see things as i am!

            best wishes to all!

          • ralph hanson says:

            hi i know theres good ladies out thjere.i was scammed by a filipina lady but it was well worth it as at the end i met a very beautiful lady,honest,bright,hard working.we chat on skype every night to her after shes worked and traved 14 hours a day,i say to her you must have time off you cant go on you’ll make yourself ill.she wouldnt hear of it she wanted to see and chat evry night.
            i tell her exactly what i think as i dont lie nor does she she is so beautiful,we just about know all theres is to know about eachother.she has s

  2. zelot66 says:

    Bruce,

    A happy ending love story. Planning to have children?

    • Bruce says:

      Zelot,
      The story is not over, but thanks. With my vasectomy and Elena’s Hysterectomy, if we have children, except adoption, it will be a bigger miracle than Joseph and Mary. 🙂

  3. Anthony says:

    Bruce,What a wonderful story. Reminds me of meeting my wife in Manila. I will have you to the house when i arrive for dinner,spades,and karoke. P.S.From your photo you and i resemble each other. Once again CONGRATS on your marriage and your great site. I have some of the brothers in L.A.checking it out. See you in November.

    • Bruce says:

      Anthony, Thanks for enjoying my stories. That is wh I keep up this journal.
      I look foward to meeting you, enjoying a meal and cards. You really do not want me to sing. Us looking alike? This I got to see. 🙂
      Tell the brothers to get many to visit, I like the visitors, especially when people comment.

  4. Anthony says:

    Yeah, same skin color, same belly. If you cut your hair and mustache i would say we were brothers. P.S. I never knew my real dad. He had other kid previous i never met and my mom has no pictures.Thats one of the beauties of the Phil we can sing and nobody cares. I bet i sing worse than you.Ha Ha

    • Bruce says:

      Anthony,
      Well, I will not shave my head but if you want to be my brother, remember me at birthdays and Christmas. Hahaha
      We can do a duet and scare the rats away.

  5. Lovely story. I cried too when I had to go home to Sweden this last trip. It is a feeling like, “will I ever meet these lovely people again”. Even though I know i will it all feels so final.

    • Bruce says:

      Stefan,
      In our life we meet people we like and might never see again. Just use the memories to smile and remember you both touched each others lives.

  6. SafetySteve says:

    Sweet, sweet story, thank you.

    I fear that it is not quite as easy as it was a few years ago. I too went the Thai route, but became frustrated with the language barrier and then found places like ThaiKisses.com, but over the past year I cannot begin to count the number of scammers I have met.

    It has become so bad that my guess is that if a woman’s photograph is higher than a 7 on a 0-10 “good looks” scale, then there is a 98% chance that they are a scammer. ThaiKisses owns Filipinokisses and they are a good company, but today (right now) I can point you to two profiles using the same photo but with different names, different ages, heights, weights, etc. Oddly I have only found Filipina based scammers (other than Russian/Ukraine/African ones) on Thaikisses.com

    These two sites are diligent in removing scammers and as they are removed (banned) the problem becomes apparent and one sees who gets banned in your contact list. The scams are mostly time-consuming as the average scammer takes 3-5 days of chat to come out with the medical emergency story, the dying grandmother story (the math of said grandmother to mother was such that granny had mom when granny was 76, ok) the “can’t make school payment with impending dismissal, or any of dozens of other stories.

    It is so blatant that the dying granny story was perpetrated by a Registered Nurse working at the Angeles Foundation who was so dumb that she sent photos which, when enlarged identified her name and unit. When I accused her of scamming she denied it and said she was using another person’s identity. Now I could accept that if she has a fraternal twin, as she forgot that we had cammed. Eventually her boyfriend im’d me with threats of physical harm after I said I would notify the Angeles Foundation (which I did, but they never answered).

    It’s quite the nuisance and extremely frustrating and I fear that these online connection points have now become quite useless. Out of the perhaps 100 Filipinas that I have written/chatted/cammed with over the past year there is only one that I believe is “real.”

    I have come to the sad conclusion that meeting via internet is no longer practical and by only going there and meeting people in person or by being referred by a friend is the possible way to find what I seek.

    Life has gotten harder in RP these past few years. Wages have not increased, but everything around from fares, to electricity and food has. Perhaps this sort of scam has increased due to these factors.

    Recently I came across a news story of a Filipino woman who had married several men at the same time, and spent times with each in succession, collecting remittances all along. Yikes.

    Now I have a disclaimer that states: “I will not send money or gifts until we have actually met, but I will come and meet you if we connect.” At least I get much fewer time wasting responses these days.

    Do you have any suggestions of how to meet quality (yes I know most Filipinas do not/would not ever scam or even ask/beg for money) women?

    • Bruce says:

      Stephen,
      With the millions of people in the Philippines there are good people and there are scammers. Yes, there are many online and not all are bad.
      I have noticed in Davao, most of the women looking for a foreigner is from the Provence and in Davao for job opportunities. Also you need to realize, the culture in the Philippines is 180 degrees opposite in many ways. Children support their parents and family’s since there is not unemployment insurance, many without pensions. So many parents have many children so they will be cared for in older age.
      This is getting long and might need an article about it.
      All I can say is set up your criteria, take your time and I am sure you will meet a few to bring to the next level. Then plan a trip here to meet in person, meet their family and remember to set your boundaries of what you will do for support and what you will not.
      Remember, if you are planing to bring her to your home country and she is working, you will be taking some support away from her family.
      Best of luck in your quest.

  7. Evelyn says:

    what a beautiful love story..

  8. laagan says:

    I hope SafetySteve finds “the one” for him. I am sure one of these days you will find someone who will care for your truly.

    • Bruce says:

      Laagan,
      I hope so too. I understand it is hard finding that special someone, in your home city, home country or any where in the world.
      It takes time and some scammers are so good, it is hard to tell your being scammed.
      All I can say is do not rush, take your time, visit more than once and set boundries that both will agree and understand.

  9. Palawan says:

    Bruce, what a love story..hehehe..I waited for that…hahahaa..I wish for both of your happiness.

    • Bruce says:

      JohnRay,
      I will write more with my trips here before and after the wedding. Thanks. Looking forward to more indepth stories on your site.

      • Palawan says:

        Bruce, will be writing more if these blackouts stop…hehehee…it seems that the need to have a laptop is getting more stronger..hahahaa..fortunately my loan was not apporved because the guy that I was trying to loan money from had no money…hehehee….can’t make money online if I can’t connect online..

        • Bruce says:

          JohnRay,
          When you have power, write articles. Then, if you have a few written, then you can paste them into blog and upload your photos.
          Remember, even with a laptop, you cannot connect to the net with no power to a modem.

  10. Expat 21 says:

    This is a really nice story, and I’m glad that people can see that there are decent people out there on the internet to meet!

    I think the key to your story is that the two of you really developed a relationship before you met in person. My brother (in America) has met several women over the internet, and then when he meets them in person, doesn’t want anything more to do with them because “they just aren’t as good-looking in person as their photo on the internet.” He also gets upset when some women show up appearing “too natural” as if they aren’t wearing makeup or don’t care to wear makeup.

    I think some people are TOO focused on superficialities. My brother wants to get married, but he never gives anyone a chance because he is TOO focused on appearance.

    In fact, I may do a post on this exact topic and link back to you when I’ve got it up. I’d love you have your comment on it. Thanks for writing about all this.

    Expat 21, at Expat Abroad
    expat21.wordpress.com

    • Bruce says:

      Expat21,
      Thank you for your comment.
      I agree too many people are attracted to much to the visual looks and never give time to getting to know the insides of the person. Some men as they get older are incensed with their looks too.
      Yes at first it is some visual attraction, we would not want to start a relationship with someone we do not find visually appealing, but we need other things too. You need common interests, personalities and views.
      I was never attracted to a lady with lots of makeup and hairspray. Maybe that is why I have always found Asian ladies attractive. Their natural complexion and smiles is attractive to me.
      I would ask your brother, what he is going to do when he gets older, balding and or gray. Hair transplants, liposuction, hair dye?
      Maybe it is best he has not found a woman to marry, he probably drive her insane or to the divorce lawyer.
      Let me know when your article is written, I will love to read it and comment.

      • Angela says:

        Very nice story…i like it and so touching..well I wish you all the good luck and may god bless you all that made some Filipina ladies proud of thierselves that they found a good heart and kind person like you guys…have a nice blessed day!!!

        • Bruce says:

          Angela,
          Thank you for visiting my site and commenting. I hope you will continue to read my articles and comment. I am blessed by finding Elena.

  11. I met a few girls through the internet, both in Thailand and in the Philippines. Never had any problem. If have met many scammers too on the internet, which I fortunately could reveal before meeting them in real. The problems with the girls I met was mostly that we didnt take it to another level but stayed as good friends. I have also met people during my travels, but personally I think the internet is a very good tool, in meeting someone you never would have run into in real! Most scammers will come up with the story quite fast, but anyway of course it is a waste of time. A very small number is very persistant, so they might get someone to meet all the way from the other side of the world, but mostly not. I have also come across money requests from girls that I can say for sure that she is not a scammer. Cause of the situation in her life, like Bruce mentionend. So it is a balance when it comes to the trust of another person. There are scammers everywhere, even in the west!

    • Bruce says:

      Stefan,
      You sound lucky, or a good judge of character. Scams from women are not only in Asia. Years ago a lady from Russia contacted me on an American dating site. Every time she asked for a large amount of money, I told her I did not have it. Finally she asked for $100. I figured I could afford to lose it if it was a scam. After I sent it Western Union, I got a call telling me he was banned because there was 35 men sending her money.
      You say you have believed some ladies that their stories was not a scam, we will never know. I have heard lots of stories, even of men who were here, married and still taken for all their money.
      All I can say is be careful and cautious. Do not let it stop you since there are many ladies for real, but many who are out to scam.

  12. I know cases where the scammer has been nice and good for years, those are the worst cases. I am probably good to judge other people (without bragging;-)), but unfortunately that won’t always help either.
    I think the best is to be careful and look for the signs. Never ever send money in an early stage.
    However, being too careful also means missing chances in life. So it is a balance like so mmany other things in life!

    • Bruce says:

      Stefan,
      As was have discussed there are honest ladies and scammers. All I say is be careful and set boundries.

  13. Bruce, it is very tmpting to do as you did, and send a small amount. I recognize that myself. Best is not to send anything.

    • Bruce says:

      Stefan,
      Yes, do not send. If they are really interested in you, they will understand. If not, even if they really need the money, they will find a way.

  14. Dan2vero says:

    Hey Bruce,

    That is a great story, and I really like this blog. Thanks so much for sharing this story with us all, especially to those of us that have the same plans as you do…move to Philippines, and to be married there as well.
    I can’t wait to travel around the Philippines too, and learn the history. I am not too interested in seeing Manila, but like you, I grew up on the movies about Bataan and Corrigedor, and would love to see those places for myself. On my fathers side of the family, my grandmother had two cousins that were in the Bataan Death March, they were twins, and both did not make it through that march.

    Salamat,
    Danny

    • Bruce says:

      Danny,
      Thank you for visiting and enjoying my site. I did not have any or lost and relatives in WWII or had any in the PAcific part of the war, but I love the history of our past. A good book to read is “Escape to Manila“. Being jewish, it tells about how they came here and survived the Japanese invasion and occupation.
      Feel free to contact me if you need any information or assistance with your quest to move here.

      • Dan2vero says:

        Hi Bruce,

        I am sure when the time comes to make the move there, I will have many questions to ask. Of course I have learned so much from “Mindanao” Bob, and I look forward to reading more of your postings on here.
        I will be moving to Southern Leyte, and from what I can see now, I will be visiting Mindanao quite often, so I hope to be able to visit the area you are in now.

        Also, real quick, you said your journey started from Florida..I am in West Palm Beach, which part were you from Bruce?

        Thanks so much,
        Danny Huseman

        • Bruce says:

          Dan,
          Well we can kill 2 birsd with one stone, Bob and I can meet at his coffee morning, hahaha
          I lived in Boynton Beach. so we might have gotten drunk, or if you have a Westbrooke Home, I probably did the plans.

  15. As I read your post, I would say Elena is so happy to have you. Seldom do I encounter men, whom without hesitation, express their love for the wives or loved-ones. With you sharing your story, I hope men who get to read this will learn how to ‘show off’ how much they love someone.

    I’m sure Elena had read this post already.

    I’m sure she’ll even love you more for doing this.

    • Bruce says:

      Elena loves me a lot and she knows my love for her. But in all marriages there are bumps in the road but we have been good at working through them. Culture has a big part since our 2 cultures are so different.

      • Jill says:

        Being a kid of mixed cultures, though my parents at least had the slight advantage of both being born and raised in the Philippines, I know it’s not easy making things work. But it seems you both love each other very much! Here’s to more days being together.

        • Bruce says:

          Jill,
          Thank you for visiting and commenting. As all married people know, marriage, like any relationship takes work and understanding. It is not always easy sailing but you need to work through the rough times to keep the love strong.

  16. Ben says:

    Bruce:
    I, too, am married to a Filipina. They make wonderful wives. Keep posting, for I am interested in reading and learning all I can about the Philippines and its people.

    • Bruce says:

      Ben,
      Thank you for reading and your comment. Yes, Filipinas are wonderful wives. I will continue to write and please feel free to ask about anything you would like me to write about.

  17. Mr. Ed says:

    hello Bruce,

    This is my first visit to your blog while at work doing an internet search on how filipinas act in a relationship since I am involved with one now and am curious.

    I am 27 from Los Angeles and have dated the typical white and latinas here. I have been very hurt by them…cheated on, lied to…etc. and I just couldn’t believe how the women here want to be the “man” in the relationship. I became emotionally scarred and began to despise at the site of a pretty woman walking down the street because I would want to talk to her but didn’t because I thought she would hurt me and play mind games.

    Now for the good stuff 🙂 I recently joined a popular dating site and met a few more of the normal off the shelf girls until one day I saw an innocent looking filipina girl holding her little dog in the picture. I messaged her and the next day she replied with mispelled words and incorrect grammar. She has been here for 4 years and is actually 1/2 Indian by her father. her mother is filipina and still lives there. She moved here after having an arranged marriage to an abusive man chosen by her grandmother. She did not love him and always wanted a child. She tells me she does nto like her family for putting her through that and always controlling her and wants to be free. She adopted a child from her sister that got pregnant and did not want to keep it. She left her young child with her mom in the phillipines and moved here with her aunt and uncle to start a new life. She is 25 years old and she is gorgeous exotic looking. She was very scared to meet me since I am the first guy in the US she went on a date with and she was only on that dating site for 1 day. She hasn’t even been out in the bar or club scene here and was really a homebody who also lost hope in finding her partner. After one week dating her she accidentally told me she loved me after she had one too many drinks. She said I was such a nice guy and was so grateful to have met me and kept telling me (in tears) not to hurt her. I realized she was emotionally scarred and had a big heart that I could not break. The next week she went to the market and bought a bunch of groceries while I was at work. When I found out, I had mixed feelings because I thougth that nobody could be this nice without an alterior motive.

    I began interrogating her about her family, morals, and lifestyle and let her know that I am not willing to send any money to her family since i have heard of that before. She cried and told me that all she wanted was me and that I am the most important person in her life now. I backed off because I felt she was sincere and I felt bad for acting that way with her because of my past. She always wants to cuddle, sometimes so much I have trouble walking LOL, so I told her to give me a lil space sometimes. She says she will do anything for me and is, she truly shows her ability to take care of a man and the household and I dont even know her that well. She is very shy in public and refuses to talk to any other guy that approaches her. She says I changed her life and promises to take care and love me for the rest of her life. She has a job and I have a good job and my own condo and can support her if necessary. She has her own house in Manila and her family owns 2 businesses there so she is not poor by all standards.

    What the heck is going on? this is all so sudden and it feels great but I truly hope it is the real thing because if it is not I am really going to be a mess. Sorry to write this much but I did so because I cannot talk to anyone else about her. Not even my mom likes that I am seeing her. I fell for her and feel that I need to marry her because she will be a better wife that will cause the least mental stress in my life. I am an avid deep sea fishermen on weekends and she has even come with me not knowing where we are going or if she will like it….as long as we are together. She fits on the back of my motorcycle well and always wears heels which I think is so sexy. And in the bedroom department…WOW she told me she went online to research what makes a man happy…and that’s the most detail I’m getting into 🙂 Who sent this woman here? Is there anything I should watch out for? how soon should I marry her before she becomes ruined(influenced) by other girls here? Do you recommend any prenup? I’m thinking of just getting married in Las Vegas since my family is too racially biased and our happiness is more important. My mom actaully says people will lose respect for me by being with her. I want to prove her wrong!

    thank you for writing this blog! and I admire you for what you did in the journey for love.

    Regards,
    Ed

    • Bruce says:

      Mr Ed,
      I am happy for you meeting such a wonderful lady.
      I too was never lucky in love in my past and had made my share of mistakes.
      I know what you mean about women being the man. Many ladies in the US, especially older ones in my age range have a job, house and baggage. They want it all, are controlling and wanting things and giving less or none.
      That is the reason I looked for a Asian lady from their country.

      Now with your story. As a father would advise and from my experiences I need to tell you to slow down and take your time. Your lady sounds wonderful and I know how caring a Filipina can be but look at other things.
      1. You just met and it is going so fast.
      2. If she was married in the Philippines, how can she marry? There is no divorce here.
      3. If she is so shy, and afraid of meeting others, what will your social life be?

      It sounds like you 2 are already living together or soon to be. If not, again, take your time. If she loves you, she will be your girlfriend and you both can take the time to REALLY get to know each other.

      I am not saying it is a scam, but it takes time to go through good and bad times to see how each other will react.

      You sound like me and I made a big mistake with my first marriage. I was hurt, angry and cost me a lot of money when it ended.

      I do not know about prenups and if they stand up in court.

      Again, take your time, get to know each other, grow your love and companionship before you do something that can turn around and bite you in the but.

      Also please keep me informed how it is going.

      Best of Luck.

      • Mr. Ed says:

        Bruce,

        Thank you for sharing your honest advice and opinions. I agree with you and do not want to rush anything. I am not living with her yet but I do think it would be a good idea to live with each other before we were to get married. I have not spoken to her about marriage yet because it is so soon.

        To clarify…she was married in the philippines for about 6 months and got an annullment. I look forward to sharing more of the good and bad times with her to see how everything develops. I will definately keep you abreast of what happens. She told me that tonight she wants me to teach her how to cook pasta!

        take care,
        Ed

        • Bruce says:

          Mr. Ed,
          I am glad your using your head over your heart. You sound similar to how my life was when younger. Ask her to cook you some of her native dishes, just hide the MSG. hahaha
          Best of luck and email me photos of ths loving couple.

          • Mr. Ed says:

            Hi Bruce I’d like to share that my short time filipina gf and I had a falling out last night because I found 2 freshly made tattoos (1 heart on each shoulder blade) with her name and my name put together in one “Jade ed” The heart on the other shoulder blade was the name of her screename on the dating website we met from. They are big and colorful and were an immediate turn off to me, especially for her not consulting with me about getting them beforehand.

            She thought I would have been happy but the opposite happenned and we just had a bad break up over this. I cannot picture myself with her wearing a nice dress with these things showing. (not to mention walking down the isle with the family looking) I tried to ask her why she would get something for a life time when we have been together only a month…and all I got was “I love you forever” or “why are you hurting me I did nothing to you” She threatened to kill herself and basically acted so immature and insecure it completely killed any remaining feelings I had for her. I feel horrible inside because I know she was a good girl and was actually in love with me but my feelings could not reciprocate hers in such a short amount of time. I am afraid I just ruined this nice girl and she will become just like all the other careless American women.

            This gets better. A few weeks ago she had also brought it upon herself to buy a ring that she wore on her left wedded finger to symbolize that she is taken. It has a diamond and a jade stone in it which I completely had no part in at all. I can’t ask you if I did the right thing or not since nobody can predict the future but from the way things were going I couldn’t deal with it anymore. She cried and cried and who knows what will happen but the last thing she texted me was “see you in heaven” Lucky I have been through so much with women that I do not succumb to being weak by this and running back to her just because I feel sorry for her. hows that for a post? Sorry to offset all the positive things on your site but this is real life and I had to share to hopefully get an outside opinion.

          • Bruce says:

            Mr Ed,
            I know how the shock was to you from those actions from your Filipina Lady. I also know how some people do not like tattoos, I am the same about putting them on me, but accept others if done nice.
            Something you do not realize is that with culture many Filipinos have what we seem as a more immature nature outside of the work environment. It might be they love to have fun and there is what I first saw as different actions is explained as “Style”.

            I am not here to tell you what to do, and it sounds like you have ended it. Just think of this, at first you were overwhelmed with her loving and caring nature and was ready to go out to Vegas. She had a tough life, even tougher than many Filipinos. She came to a strange county with strange customs, she met you and found a good loving person. She wanted to show her devotion and did it the only way she knew. Unfortunately it was not compatible to your thinking.

            Well, it is up to you, I am not there, and I am not you. I just hope both of you have a good future. If you do get back together, sit and explain to her to discuss things. I know Filipinos do what they think are right and do not discuss it like western couples will.

  18. audrey says:

    Hi!Bruce,
    I just found your website and enjoyed reading your blogs and all these comments “CONGRATULATIONS’ for finding the right girl for you , that’s a great stories, btw, i’m pinay OFW here in HK and and i missed home just reading all the comments here. i hope you enjoyed living in our country.
    I’m looking for more of your blogs in the future….
    Thank’s a lot,
    Audrey

    • Bruce says:

      Audry,
      Thank you for enjoying my site and commenting. I hope you will continue to visit. I enjoy having Filipinos reading my articles and to hear what they think of my perspectives.

  19. Ray from Tn says:

    Hi Bruce

    Just want to say great reading. I have found myself in a personal battle with myself. I met this amazing Filipino woman online. She is really a wonderful person. And we started in Feb 09 chatting from a popular Filipino dating site and of course I got the 10 thousand scammers.I seen here profile and i emailed her. At first she didnt take me seriously and I blew it off. She seen me online and we chatted for a couple of hours. And then it just grew from there. I visited her in Manila this April and Bruce I can say I had one of the most amazing times in my life. She took me to dive with whale sharks. She was always attentive to my every need. And I am completely head over heels in love with her. And She has never asked me for one cent. She is educated and smart and funny. And like I said I am really inlove with her. Ok…Heres the problem. She was married about 9 years ago to a Filipino man. He left her and her 2 kids alone. She has had no contact with him in almost 8 years. I know that there is no divorce in the PI. So she told me she has talked to a atty. And he advised her for a annulement. Which she says she needs 50.000 pesos to file.(atty fees) and that its going to cost about 160.000 pesos total. I want to trust her and I am at a loss right now. I do have the money but its about all my savings I have. From everything I have read about scammers she fits none of the profiles. So I am asking you for some friendly advise. Please

    • Bruce says:

      Ray from TN,
      I am glad you found a wonderful lady. I have no idea if she is real or not and will not get into that. The cost for an annulment is actually low from what I heard. Also if you would want to bring her to the States to be your wife there, there are a llot of costs for filing a fiancee visa and the costs for her to get the visa.
      I think, stay in touch with her and see how it develops. What would your eventual plan, move her to the States or you move to the Philippines?
      I do not have all the answers and have heard stories from the best to the worst.
      All I will say is BEST of LUCK and keep me informed how things go.

    • wildcat75 says:

      Hi!Ray fr. Tn,
      I’m also pinay so i would like to give you a friendly advise but pls. don’t take it as a negative one. i’m happy for you that you fell inlove w/ this wonderful filipina and wish you all the best but don’t rush, take your time to really know her very well. I know i have no right to tell you what to do or not but since you asked for some friendly advise, i thought i could you give one. As you knew already, there’s no divorce in the PHILS. and having to annull one marriage take a lot of time, effort and money, it will take probably yrs and w/ the approval of her ex- husband to annull her marriage, if not, it will give you both a headache and wasting your time and money.Pls. be careful w/ your savings money, as Bruce said, there’s a bad and good people out there……

      • Bruce says:

        Wildcat,
        Thank you for restating my feelings. It is more proof coming from a Filipina.
        Keep visiting and commenting. If you ever feel like writing something from your perspective, I would welcome you as a guest writer.
        Thanks again

        • wildcat75 says:

          Bruce,
          I enjoyed visiting your site so you’re gonna see me here more more often during my free time, it’s like my daily newspaper from home

          • wildcat75 says:

            Bruce,
            i just want to ask you how to edit my post here coz i didn’t see any edit or cancel button in this page as well as some emoticons.I accidentally press the submit button w/o ending my post. Anyway, thank’s for the encouragement, i wish i have at least 1/2 of your writing talent in order for me to write but my problem is i was too shy to express myself in public, thus i just wrote on my journal, i started writing when i was only 14 yrs old and collected 3 books already but those books was hidden in my secret place, hahaha!.You can imagined how a 14 yrs. old wrote those crazy stuffs on her diary in english, you will probably got a headache after reading each pages…. hahahaha!

          • Bruce says:

            Wildcat,
            I do not know how to add emotion smilies and once published only I can edit it. If you ever want to change something, just re-comment or email it to me through the “Contact me” tab and I will correct or replace it for you.
            My writing talent? now I need a rolf emotion. I barely passed english in school. I just write as I would tell a story. Thankfully I first write in Microsoft Word and use its grammar and spell checker.
            One nice thing about blogging, you can be as anonymous as you like and then you can tell your story. I bet you could put your journals online and have lots of readers. If you like, I will do the site and you give me the content. We could share any income from it or if we publish “The thoughts of a Filipina” hahaha

          • Bruce says:

            Wildcat,
            Again, thank you for enjoying my site. If there is something you would like me to write about, please give me a suggestion. The only area I stay away from is politics. As a guest in your country, it is not something I want to comment on unless it directly affects me.

  20. krispy98 says:

    Hi Bruce

    What a wonderful story!!!I found your website by accident. I enjoyed reading both parts of your story. I will add your website to my favorites so that I could read all your articles. I am a filipina living in New Zealand. I too is married to a foreigner, a New Zealander. Your story is similar to what my husband has been through although we met in person here in New Zealand and not thorough internet. And I must say we are both happily married now for the past 13 years. We have been blessed that we found each other when we did. He has been through a lot of heartaches with New Zealand women and I was the same with Filipino men. I thought I would not find anyone who will love me for what I am. I am so lucky that I found the most loving and understanding man. We now have a gorgeous 10 yr old son. All the best, thanks for sharing your story.

    • Bruce says:

      Krispy98,
      I am glad you found my site, accidents can be good. I hope you will continue to visit and to comment. Also let friends know about my site, they might enjoy it too.

  21. riz says:

    Hi Bruce! I found your website by accident…. Wow I really inspired and enjoyed reading your love story and all the comments it’s amazing… and how I wish I found my real love same like you and Elena lol… anyway CONGRATULATIONS! Wish you all the happiness… keeps on posting

    • Bruce says:

      Riz,

      Thank you for enjoying my site. I hope you will continue to visit. There are some really wonderful women here and some that are out for your money. If your looking for a Filipina wife, just take your time and make sure.

  22. riz says:

    hi bruce i forgot to mentioned in my comment that im a Filipina.. I’m OFW working in Dubai. Thanks for writing a very nice story.. ur truly blessed.

    • Bruce says:

      Riz,
      Thank you for adding that. What part of the Philippines are you from? I hope you will continue to visit and comment. I enjoy Filipinos that let me know what they think of my observations living in your country but with a foreigner frame of mind.

  23. riz says:

    I’m from Nueva Ecija part of Central Luzon, when i read ur story it makes me interest to join in a dating site but i feel hesitant coz in a dating site and its required photo’s etc. and it makes me feel uncomfortable… pls. advise thanks

    • Bruce says:

      Riz,
      I do not know how to advise you and I think the answers are in your own head. There are good foreigners and bad, just as their are honest Filipinas looking for love and those out to scam.
      You need to present yourself with open honesty and take your time with anyone you meet online.

  24. Peter says:

    Wow NY Jew, marries filipina and and live’s in Davao I’m there!
    Those girls know how to treat a Man!
    I live in the Hampton’s on Long Island Bruce, I found you a few months back, my girl lives in Malaybalay, I spend my summers there. I have been there in 07 and 08 , they really know how to treat a man. I am considering living in PI a few months a year. Perhaps 6 and 6 if I can to build a home. Malaybalay though gerally peaceful has has some bad incidents this year. How is it where you live, very safe? We considered checking it out down there. I got a funny story to tell you , I was in Las Vegas a couple of years ago deciding whether or not I would move there for a job, the neighborhood are nice, clean and hot, but lots of traffic outside the strip. So I’m driving around and I’m thinking
    this is so differnt from Say, Queens , where I lived most of my life , I dont know if I could live here. Then what do I see walking down the street , a Hasidim , I instantly said , Yeah I can live here and moved there a few months later! I know it’s a funny story, and maybe your not a Hasidic or Traditional Jew or not religious at all but please dont take it that way, Im a Catholic New Yorker and when I see anythng Jewish, it feels like home. You my friend feel like home that is all! I should be in Malaybalay again the end of the summer or maybe fall NY time again. Nice Blog I enjoy reading from time to time. Peter Cooke

    • Bruce says:

      Peter,
      Thanks for your comment and story. I have not been to Malaybalay yet. Davao is more cosmopolitan and the downtown area is more like a city. It is crowded but it is safe.
      About Jews in the Philippines, there are not many and the only Synagogue I know of is in Manila.
      I hope you will let me know when you visit and will come to Davao for me and Elena to meet you and your lady.
      If you have any more questions or need any assistance, feel free to ask.

  25. wildcat75 says:

    Oh MY Gosh, Bruce!
    Just the thought of moving my journal online is enough for me to faint, hahahaha!!I will definitely disappear on earth if that ever happened,my friends even joked me to auction those journals to earn money but i doubt if someone ever interested on buying it…..I guess it will take so much hardwork to put it online including photos, cards and some little memorabilia and w/ 3 thick books i doubt it if i’m gonna finish it w/in a few months,…. i guess i’ll just past it on to my child if ever i bless to have one…..btw, i like your idea.. “the thoughts of filipina” hahahaha!!!

    • wildcat75 says:

      Bruce,
      How about our Phils. history, i always fascinated in history and during PRE- ( WORLDWAR 1 and 2) and how it was happened, i hope there’s no more world war 3 and so on…..The reason why i love to visit your site is that i’d like to hear your perspective as a foreigner in our country and our people, be it positive or negative, i know it will serve as an eye opener not only for me but for all of us pinoy….. I’m also fascinated on any antique furnitures and filipino paintings,so if you can make an article about this two things ,kindly post some photos here and i will apreciate it ver much.
      THANK YOU AND MORE POWER AND SUCCESS TO THIS WONDERFUL SITE!!!!

      • Bruce says:

        Wildcat,
        Thanks for you enjoying my site. I have found many sites about the history here. One of the books I enjoyed, which is also on the ad from Amazon is “Escape to Manila.” It chronicles American Jews in Manila from before the war through the Jap occupation and after. It is very interesting.
        I will look for a way to put bits of history and art as you asked in the future.

  26. Riza says:

    She is pretty. Congratulations to both of you!

  27. Riza says:

    I wonder if my boyfriend would like me having a tattoo of his name, LOL! Kidding.

  28. Steve Baker says:

    Wow, some interesting stories here, but the tatoos are a bit much. Anyone who says “I’ll kill myself IF you don’t love me” needs outside help. That’s a form of abuse. I would not walk away from her, I would RUN! I do hope all ends well.
    I met my beautiful wife on CherryBlossoms. I do not advertise for anyone and I owe them nothing. I paid for their services and they worked for me. I saw some scammers there and was asked for money, even sent some and got taken, live and learn (my wife never asked for money and when I sent some (without asking) she was very upset and insulted by it). I found that a long term internet and phone relationship (at least 6 months) followed by a visit to her home town was the best formula for me. She had to be herself at home, in front of her Momma and Pappa.
    I have been married for 6 years and we have a beautiful 4 year old daugther. I am truely blessed and we are very much in love. I’m 50 and shes 31, but age does not matter to us, we’re happy.
    Again, I would stress a long term internet and phone relationship followed by a visit to her home town. She will have to be herself at home, in front of her Momma and Pappa.
    Good luck to all and I hope you find your Pinoy princess, as I have.
    Steve

    • Bruce says:

      Steve,

      I agree with you, but sometimes a family is in on the scam too so you do not know for sure. One sign is if the lady never asks for money and never mentions problems where money is needed.
      The Tatoo thing was the guy from California. As we know, everyone has a story to tell, some good and some bad. That is why I try to mention things to look out for.

  29. very nice and touching story. 😀 best wishes in your married life.

  30. WAYNE BATTE says:

    im coming to davao soon but would be inerested in finding a good website such as yo described to help me find a good filipina thanks wayne

    • Bruce says:

      Wayne,
      There are many sites to meet Filipinas online. There are free sites for all and some sites where the man has to pay to join. The problem is not the site, but the members. There are honest ladies looking for a good man and others looking to scam or fill their pockets. Just as once your here and meet ladies, you need to be careful with your money and your heart. You will want to jump into bed with the sexy ladies you meet but be careful. Love here can mean security and peace of mind for the long term and to others saying the word is just something to say to get you to support her and her family. Set your boundaries with the people you get involved with.
      There is no good answer. The only advice is take your time and possibly ask a friend here if they know of a lady seriously looking for a older foreign man.

  31. Seth says:

    Just thought I would drop a line or two. I am married to a beautiful lady from Davao City. We met online a Christian website and chatted for a year before I went to see her in person. Then I was hooked. I returned ever six months until we had all in order for her to come the the States. I picked her up in May of 08 and we married in August of 08. We have been married a little over a year and just had a son in June. IF I had known years ago that I could have found happiness with a Filipina I would not have waited so long to find one. I am 43 and feel like a king among men with my lovely wife. She is truly a gift from GOD and I love her with all my heart. She is truly my ASAWA.

    • Bruce says:

      Seth,
      I am very happy for you. For me, too bad I was not able to find my loving wife until I was older, then the loss of job and a closed industry made my only decision to move here. I am very lucky that my wife and family takes such good care of me.

  32. Casie says:

    this is all filipina women taking hard on net.. because of or many filipina used net to scam but i just wanted to say that, not every one of us is the same.. foreigners why we love to have a foreiner husband.. 1st foreigner are sweet than filipino.. they are not ashmed or scared to show their love women even as public hold hands kiss hugs etc.. not because want to live phil. maybe those some are they choice.. for me there is no judgemental to have an older american to marry with just as long u understand each other and have love both sides.. Filipina loves matured men because we want us to treat as baby.. thats why we always hooked up those romantic one.. but yes there are many of us using net to scam for a lie and im sorry for that they are just dont appreciate effort.. feeling of others I HAVE AN ADVICE DONT EVER SEND MONEY TO WHOM U KNOW BY NET.. talk to us share thoughts and feelings and only marry a girl from here after she prove that what ever she is.. is what she really is..

    so please to those who thinks that all Filipina are same its not true its just like those some country there are good and bad people everywhere..

    to those u got a nice filipina wife just keep loving them.. and im sure u got what a love that u dream for.. thanks

    • Bruce says:

      Casie,
      Thank you for your comment. As a foreigner, even though I have many Filipino and Filipina friends, a lot of my thoughts are from observations and conversations. Your thoughts and honesty is and will always be welcome on my site here. Also it is not only Philippines where internet scams are done. Russia, Eastern Europe and Africa are high on the list too.
      I do not know if you have a foreigner husband, or just looking, but it sounds like any man will be lucky to find you.

  33. mark from buffalo NY area says:

    Bruce, Hi I just first time on your site. Wow i like to read all the comments I read your first one about going to newark w/4 hour layover and then that long flight to HK. i took the same route on continental. Wow I have been talking now to my fiance(Wilma now for 9 months. I visited her also in Manila, were we also went to bay walk at manila bay. So beautiful there. I have also been thinking about retiring there and would like to get more advice from you. I know the cost of living there is much cheaper. Wilma is from iloilo, were we think we might want to live. Maybe you can tell me how you did it, i am 43 and would like to be there by the time i am 55 but i really would like to be there now instead of waiting. is there away to earn a living there for american men with filipina wifes. i am looking forward to knowing so much more about how i also can live there. thanks

    • Bruce says:

      Mark,
      My best advice would be to bring Wilma to the States, marry her and have her live there. If she can work too it would be good so she can build Social Security points and collect her own benefits. My other advice, if you really plan on eventually moving here, watch spending and expenses and save and invest. Even though it is cheaper to live here, it is not a free ride. There are some things more expensive here such as gasoline, electronics and electricity. To earn a living here, the only way to have any chance to make more then basic wages is to open a business. Even then it is a tough deal finding a business that will make a profit to support yourself.

      Feel free to contact me with any questions and comments.

      • Mark says:

        Hi Bruce, Wilma has now arrived and i was just checking your site and found your reply. We are planning to marry in Feb. I am so happy to be with her again. things are wonderful. the cold weather is something for her to adjust too. Maybe we can return to manila sometime. i think it will be a long time to get her restrictions lifted. Any idea?? thanks again Mark and wilma

        • Bruce says:

          Mark,
          I am happy your Wilma has arrived and you both are happy. Yes it might take a while to get used to the weather, so be patient and but her some nice down mittens.
          What restrictions are you referring to? If you mean her leaving the US and not losing her status, once she received her greencard, if things have not changed, she can leave for no longer than six months without prior approval. Best to check the US immigration sites.

  34. Faithjoy says:

    Hi there. I am a Filipina, single, 42, working as a manager in one manufacturing plant in the philippines. Glady to share that my american fiancee and myself just got an aprroval for hes petition and now waiting for my visa interview and medical exam schedule.

    I met my fiancee in a dating site , chatted for 6 months and met last june when he came over to visit me, we talked and laughed and shared our everyday as if we’ve know each other for a long time. Now, while waiting for approval of my visa, we always have US not you and me anymore , looking forward to a life being together, which will mean on my part giving up my good career here, but its alright and i know my Bob is very worth of evrything. Up to now, i never asked any single centavo from Bob, even he insited, During his last visit, we basically divide all expenses because i know that my man is not that rich, and coming over here already gave him a lot of expenses.

    Just wanna tell to all foreigners who might read this, that there are so many many god filipinas out here, having so much love in their heart, and a complete person on their own just waiting for someone to share thie heart and completeness to someone.

    We plan to get married as soon as i arrived in texas, life is uncertain, we don;t hold the future but Bob and I believe that we have each other to face the uncertain everydays of our live TOGETHER.

    And to you Bruce, I am so glad that you and Elena found each other lessening lonely people in this world.

    • Bruce says:

      Faithjoy,
      It is nice to hear such stories. There is good relationships and bad. There are honest Filipinas and scammers just as there are men looking for a good wife and others looking for a young lover with false promises. Once you move to Texas, I hope you will continue to read and maybe write some guest articles for me telling the Filipinas story once she moves abroad.

  35. Terence says:

    Bruce,
    I love your blog and am especially touched by your love story. Your wife is not only very beautiful but sounds like a great woman to boot. Congratulations.

    I am 62 and will be retiring to Davao in the next 8 months, after I wrap up some things here in the Excited States.

    I too am hoping to find a nice Filipina to make my wife. After spending some time on a couple different online dating sites, I have pulled back and decided to wait until I arrive to begin my search.

    It seems many women are too eager to “close the deal” too quickly so I think it will be better to meet face to face, either through introductions, or serendipitous meetings.

    My perfect mate would be an educated Filipina woman about 35 or so with a young daughter. I had a little girl who died over 30 years ago and have always longed to have another.

    I will be creating some fine silver and gold jewelry which I hope to sell either online or in some nice upscale Filipino venues. I have a monthly social security check of almost $1,400 so hope I will be able to live well enough on those two income streams.

    I hope to meet up with you when I arrive in Davao. And, again, thanks for your wonderful blog. And many more happy years with your beautiful wife.

    Terence from Texas

    • Bruce says:

      Terence,
      Thank you for visiting and enjoying my site. I did reply to you in a private email and you by now know. I will be here to offer assistance and advise for you or anyone who asks.

      I look foward to meeting you.

  36. CrazyDaisy says:

    Hi,
    Am a Filipina working in Uae. WWhat a wonderful story u have. ^_^ I also have a foreigner boyfriend and been in this relationship for 6 months. But we meet personnaly rather in net, we started as friends actually. And thank God evrything is going so well and fine. 🙂 Anyway, I just want to ask, you are now living in davao, right? If so, you may be a citizen already. Just want to know, how long did it take for you to have it after the marriage? thanks

    • Bruce says:

      CrazyDaisy,
      You have to live in the Philippines for 5 years I think to become a citizen. One requirement is being fluent in one of the languages here. For me, it is residency. One marriage license is filed in NSO you can apply. The first year is a temporary residency, after the year you re-apply for permanent status.

  37. Avi says:

    WFT . . . i’ve been living in the Philippines for the last 3 yrs n i bloody KNOW these people very well .
    . . . Pal just TRY telling her that after marriage you would not give money to her family ( father, mother , brother , sister , n even far off cousins ) THEN you’ll know the REAL filipina . . . she just WONT be interested in you anymore . . .
    . . . these people are PERFECT liars , dont go on their body language . . .

    • Bruce says:

      Avi,
      I guess you were involved with some poor ladies only interested in your money. I am also guessing this is one of the relationships with a great age difference. I agree there are many Filipinas looking for a way to support their family, but not all. That is why I always advise to set your boundaries in the beginning. Explain what you will give, to whom and how much and let her run before you take out your wallet.

  38. Jeaney says:

    I can relate on your love story.. I have a american fiance 13 yrs older than me and we are planning to retire here in the Phil. I was looking for a serious relationship so I tried what my friend told me to try for a more mature man. So I tried to find through online..Then I was attracted on what his profile says about him. It was my first time to message a man coz I don’t like that I take the first move, I said, I think u are looking for a clown (coz he likes someone who has a huge sense of humor hehe) then he message me back same day at the exact moment i was sending him my message saying I like your profile this and that he gave his ad to me then the rest is history.. =) I felt like we were destined for each other.I’m not that woman who is after for the money or greencard I’m looking for a serious relationship its just happened I’m too young for her that is why people judge me. Their are still women in the Phil who have good intentions. I hope you are enjoying the culture.

    • Bruce says:

      Jeaney,
      Thank you for visiting my site and enjoying my content. I never intended to say all Filipinas are looking for a greencard or support and not all Foreigners are looking for a very young lady. I just write articles about different subjects here without sugar coating.
      The culture here is a learning experience. I do enjoy the kindness of Filipinos, that is the best of all.

  39. Janetlie says:

    Thank you for saying good things about us filipinas..and your wife is very lucky to have you as a husband because its rare, as in very rare who will openly express their love to their wives..Cheers to you and Elena!

    • Bruce says:

      Janetlie,
      It is easy to say nice things about Filipinas and most Filipinos too. Your culture has taught you to be a very caring people. For me, I have always been open and live with my “heart on my sleeve” and enjoy showing my love.

  40. beverly says:

    hi..i’m a filipina..i also met my boyfriend in one of the dating sites here in the net..first he said too many foul things about filipina’s(he just read it in the book)..at first i was so hesistant to talk to him,hurt because of the bad impressions about us in his mind.iwant to prove him that there are lots of scammers not only in the philippines but all over the world.i have a decent job so i don’t need him to support me,although it’s not that big but enough to support all my needs.before i met him he is chatting to the 4 women in the net and found them scammers..after he read my profile he sent a message and left his email add..so i replied,after that we kept on talking..then he realized i am not a scammer..he went here last feb.14..we had a good times together..he just spent 3 days with me but i guess it’s enough just to prove he loves me..now he plans to come here again at the end of this month..and we have plan to get marry eventhough we’ve known each other for just 3 mos..i guess it doesn’t matter..what matter is we love each other so much…i hope some of your readers will found inspiration on our story..thanks!!!!

    • Bruce says:

      Beverly,
      Thank you for visiting my site and commenting. I am glad you found each other. I do wonder if it is “love”. I have known my wife for about 5 years and it went from attraction, to infatuation, to desire to love. Love takes time to develop. You know it is real love when things go bad and you argue, but after the argument is over, you hug and kiss and never think of leaving each other.

  41. ganda says:

    what a nice love story, Bruce!!!glad that i have found your site.i also have a “kano”boyfriend and been talking for almost a year now and visited me here in the Phils 4 times and planning to visit me again this mid year.i thought i would never fall in love again and i may say this is for real.i am not getting any younger and wanted to be married and have a fam of my onw.maybe, yes i should really wait for the right time and no need to rush. wish i could also have a fairytale love story on his 5th visit here in P.I.

    btw, will add this link to my faves…

    God Bless you and Elena!! may you have a fruitful years together.

    • Bruce says:

      Ganda,
      Welcome to my site and and thank you for commenting. I am glad you found someone you care for. My only advise is to get all the information before you jump. There are as many cheating foreigners with filipinas as there are scamming filipinas. Try to make sure everything he tells you is true.
      Look forward to more cements from you to know how it is advancing.

  42. franchesca erin says:

    hi bruce,just call me erin.I read ur story and its one in a million.I am about to marry a guy,he’s 40,divorced and one kid.i am turning 30 this year.We already met,and we were good to each other.He is so nice to everyone,esp.me.But,i told him that i am not yet ready to get married.That i still have plans to pursue for my family.But he said we can work it out.Everybody is pushing me to go and marry him,although i am not that so sure of my feelings.I don’t wanna regret and blame myself and come up to divorce in the end.I dont know what to do.Can u give me an advise?thanks

    • Bruce says:

      Erin,
      Even if you both lived in the same country, I would give the same advice, but being half way around the world from each other it is even more important…. Make sure your head and heart is in the right place before you marry. Also make sure you both talk about and cultural items that can cause problems. One big one is many Filipinas expect their “foreigner” husband to support tier family forever.

  43. faith says:

    hey there… i red your blog and i think i had to make a comment… i have an american boyfriend, fiance actually and were actually making this work… but yeah i know its too soon for us to be engaged but yeah we decided to do so… im having second thoughts of this actually since i hear a lot of comments from his friends… i have a good relationship with his family though but i just have some problems with his friends… were still in a long distance relationship but were dating for almost a year and half now… any advice??? i think i need it from someone who actually experienced this… thank you… ^^

    • Bruce says:

      Faith,

      You need to stop listening to your boyfriends comments as he should too. If others are involved, they can ruin any relationship.

  44. Georgewife says:

    hi bruce,

    Thanks for all your inspiring stories and advices. Reading your very beautiful stories about your beautiful wife and our country makes me really proud of.

    We almost have the same scenario on meeting up in the airport at the first time year 2009. he said ” you look so beautiful in person than in the picture or webcam” (I’m telling the truth, not just to build up my own chair) he is so definitely the kind of Prince Charming I’m looking for. He’s young (5 years older than me), good looking,in a good shape and everything. But he’s really sweet and sincere to me since were talking on phone, email and chat for more than 3 weeks. And of course “to see it to believe it”. so both of us were not pretty sure about our intention or real feelings toward each other.

    I am the one who emailed him first Jan 2009, coz he caught my eyes on filipinofriendfinder.com. I loved his profile that he really sounds like a independent guy who sounds like have a great ambitions. he said he likes me, and saying he wants to marry a girl like me and i said i like you too! and i said why don’t you just says directly i am the one you want to marry with? ( i know i sounds like really so fast and sounds like almost a scam) i said u should see me in webcam first to believe and he felt inlove with me right away and same thing with me. and then i asked him if he wants to come over in the Philippines be my valentine for feb. and he said i can do that. Just little over a week he bought his ticket and flew over in the Phil.(his first time) Feb,8-22, yeah its just 2 weeks. But we married right away Feb 20, 2009. Our wedding preparation its only 5 days coz im just planning simple as it could be, but it ended up with a very fancy joyful wedding. ( but take note,it didn’t cost him to much coz i’m good in bargaining) I’m 22 at that time and he’s 27, and its pretty amazing that were like a soulmate that we have exactly the same birthday June 8? He have a very wonderful sweet and kind hearted family. I arrived here Oct.2009 and yeah its been a year. still lot of processes for papers and drivers license and everything. i don’t have any complains about here in KY, US. We lived comfortably ( even though i dont have any fancy branded stuff), he bought house before he married me and he have a steady job.Everybody here our friends, neighbors, church member and family are all friendly and sweet to me. I got a lot of filipina friends here too. Same stories that they have a successful love stories. They just recently hired me in a well known company. Coz i don’t want him to carry all the burden sending money to Philippines forever. I’ll tell u the truth i grew up in a very poor family who sometimes don’t eat at all in the whole day. We lost everything coz of Mt. Pinatubo eruption twice 1991 and 1995.I finished my Degree in an expensive university coz of my hard work and scholarship since high school. And i’m the eldest one. i have 4 siblings youngest is 12. Yeah my family needs money but never take advantage asking for it, if they need we can send them but not much. But I’m not bossy telling u i married a rich guy.He’s just ordinary and with a decent job. He’s just good in Money. Which I’m just his calculator. lol. I love him so much, i do everything to please him, i cooked for him, served him and even giving him pleasure. But he never been such a baby, still independent.He loves me so much and he’s so sweet and he’s really my prince. The only thing we are hoping for is to have our little one’s soon.

    Sorry for long story. I just want to let you know. Nobody’s in this world is Perfect. I’ll tell you i married the imperfect man coz seeing him as a perfect one for me. Not all Filipina’s are all like that. Please try to understand them first and most of us are uneducated coz we can’t afford to go to school especially college. If u want to u can send them to school if they are worthy. i mean just be careful. U guys can still feel if they sincerely genuine loves u. We are just naturally sweet and loving. Well goodluck to all guys. P.S i love foriegners coz they are much understandable and will accept for whoever and whatever u are! But not all filipino’s guy are like that, i just have a bad luck with ex filipino that they didnt ever respect me and love me in return. They always says im a slut.

    • Bruce says:

      Georgewife,
      I am glad it all worked out. I would be scared of such a short romance. Keep in touch and maybe we can all meet one day.

  45. Georgewife says:

    Yeah u r right Bruce! Were both scared! But God still the Center of our Relationship! Sure we can!

  46. Dave says:

    Awesome story! I am an American working in Qatar, and I have a Filipina girlfriend about 90 miles away in Bahrain. I met her when I was there on business about 2 months ago, and we have been video chatting every night since. I am going to go see her in a week, and I cannot wait. The interesting part about this is that she is older than me. I am 36 and she is 42… however she does not look it at all. When I met her, my guess was that she was somewhere between 28-30. Absolutely the most amazing woman I have met in my entire life! I will let you know how things go. Thanks for your story!

  47. John and Geracel says:

    Hello there,

    i am glad i found this website, i enjoyed reading all the comments from different people. As myself i’m married to a wonderful canadian man, He’s the best thing that ever happened to me,we been married now for almost 3 years. I met John in one of the famous dating website, at first i thought i was insane because i was chatthing to a 65 year old man, and i couldn’t imagine being with a man that is 46 years older than me,but as time goes we’ve chatted for several hours,and after knowing each other we’ve chatted for almost everyday, so after a year talking to one another there were some sparks between us and i know it was an unbelievable feelings that no one could ever believed us,but deep inside we knew how we feel and we were so happy that we found each other. I may be a lot younger than him but i assure to everyone that my love for him is true, he made feel the feelings i’ve never felt before,i love him with all my heart and now we’re here in Canada been married for 3 years and being with him is the happiest moments of my life….Thank you for making this website, and advance merry christmas to you and to your lovely wife.

  48. Psyche says:

    Hi Bruce, I just stumbled upon your site while browsing about Filipina traits. I am a Filipina, from Panay and working as an SEO writer. You have a wonderful love story! Since I was in high school, I have this penchant of reading and listening to different love stories. It makes me smile every time I have heard some of those romantic stories. I want to share a sad story I experienced online.

    I met an American in one dating site I accidentally opened last July. I am 23 years old. He’s one year younger than I am and still studying. He wanted to visit me here but couldn’t because he has no enough money. I said the visit could wait and I can wait too. But he told me he badly needed a girl now since he is dying some time next year. He said he has a serious medical condition which involves his stomach. We chatted for several times and I have fallen for him because of those sweet words. I guess I was been so unrealistic to feel that way. It’s more than a month of e-mailing when he told me he met a girl near his place. Of course, I was hurt but has nothing to do. I let him go. After a week, we start to keep in touch again because he told me the date and “getting-to-know” with that girl wind up a disaster. He told me he still likes me. Because I was blinded of the feelings which I lately realized was only an infatuation, I accept him again.

    Everything runs smoothly between us and for three months, I thought all things are okay. But it wasn’t. He e-mailed me again telling me he is close with somebody at the moment. He wanted me to let go of him which I did. I was hurt. I told myself better to end something early than to settle to someone who couldn’t feel how does it hurt to be a second choice. Now, I am okay. It’s been weeks since we stopped communicating. I think I will never involve to foreign men again. But I guess I sound bitter thinking that way.

    When I read your story, I am starting to change my views about foreign men or men in general. What happened to me is just an isolated case. Thank you for the influence of your love story. I am proud of your wife and as a Filipina also. There are still genuine Filipinas here in the Philippines although foreign men must be cautious about spams and scams. This moring, I just browsed the profile of a scammer in one of the dating sites here. Oh well, it’s annoying that some Filipinas are using the photos of actresses to entice men.

    By the way, I will keep on visiting your website from now on. I hope and pray I will meet someone who will also love me as what happened to you and your wife. It’s really inspiring. I enjoyed reading your posts.

    • Bruce says:

      Psyche,
      Thank you for your story and I hope you will find your true love, either Filipino or Foreigner. Just make sure and be careful.

  49. Simon says:

    Hey Bruce,
    Your story is really good, i myself am with a filipina girl although our ages are similar im 26 and shes 23. Your story feels so familiar to me as i have been to the philipines and experienced the culture and your girl’s personality seems not unlike my girls, anyway mate enjoyed your story…

  50. Edeliza says:

    Hello Bruce,
    what a nice story you have.

  51. Ara says:

    I love the story! thanks for sharing it.. Im Ara living in Davao too.. will get married on January 28, 2012 with my Canadian Fiance Duane Friesen.. I really love the part of separating ways because both persons need to go home to their respective places.. We did the same (crying).. Although it was a sad part its still nice to look forward for the next visit!!!

    GOD bless! – and May GOD bless everyone!

    Ara

  52. thia says:

    hi there..i really like the stories here..anyway,i am a filipina and i have a foreigner boyfriend who visited me last month and he stayed here for 4 weeks,we know each other for almost a year thru internet.and we are in a relationship for 6 mos.now.i am so much inlove with him,and i can feel that he loves me too.the only problem is that he is still married and living together with his wife but they dont sleep in the same room for more or less 10 years he said so..i am worried that when the time come he will leave meand realize that the relationship we have is wrong..but he always tell me that his love for me is strong and true, he loves me so much..that he will soon file a divorce with her wife.i dont want to ruin their family but i love him so much..what do you think is the best way to do?

  53. Marie Sans says:

    I can only wish you find your real gem. I am married to a white american for twenty one years now and we have a daughter together.

    He was a good provider but then in 2001 he lost his job and left me the responsibility of being the sole breadwinner.

    I am happy to be with my husband for poorer or for richer. I wish he will be kinder in his ways and communication, but after so many years I have accepted him already.

    Take care yourself. Please tell your wife that her real value to you is to keep the Filipino values that endear her to you.

  54. zhenexiel says:

    Hello Bruce, I love reading your blog, I need some advices from you, i had a bf from california, i am falling inlove with him and i felt he felt the same way .. but my problem is , for 2 days we chatted long like 8 or 12 hours, but the next day, we less hour chatted and then the next day again we chatted just only a few minutes and now sometimes we didnt chatted for 1 or 2 days, But i understand he is very busy from his work, and he told me he is planning to visit me in the beggining of august, but even though i would love to talk or chat with him everyday, i cant , because he have no more time with me, its really hard for me, because im in love with me, but i have no doubt about his feeling for me, but im worried maybe if we didnt chat everyday his feeling for him is change or fade, but as usual the first time i chatted him until now my feelings for him is strong and going strong.. i need advice, what should i do? i should have to understand him? thank you so much

  55. Jen says:

    what a beautiful love story. may you two have many more years of wedded bliss. 🙂

    Love, Jen

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