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You Know You are a Filipino if….

A friend I have made from the internet and Blogging is a man John Ray. He is a teacher in Palawan. He is trying to improve his and his wife’s life with also Blogging. He has an interesting site Palawan Anecdotes. He writes about some interesting things in his life or observations.

I am going to help him move his Blog to his own domain by putting it on my Server. As we all know life is hard and salaries are low in the Philippines and I like to assist friends when ever I am able.

Recently he posted a funny Listing, To be a Filipino. I asked his permission to use it here. As he mentioned, this is to make you laugh and not to offend. He also, as I will ask for any additions you might have, but please no derogatory remarks.

So here it is:

1. Two words: Mengo juice.

2. On your wish list, Magic Sing is higher up than the iPod.

3. “At the end of the day”, “That being said”, and “Irregardless” (is that a word?) are always mentioned in your conversation.

4. You feel that life was better when the past president was in office ummm… irregardless of who is in office and who was the past president.

5. Yahoo Messenger is always on in your office computer. As well as Globe Chikka.

6. Your office computer is still running Windows 98 without the updates.

7. Load is not heavy. It’s costly.

8. You have at least applied once in a Call Center.

9. Your coffee drink is Mocha Frappuccino.

10. When the government warns that a nearby volcano will erupt you ignore it. When a psychic mentions that an earthquake will happen at 5pm, you panic.

11. You’re angry about government corruption but angrier if the cop doesn’t accept your bribe and still gives you a ticket.

12. Your brand spanking new nose job was done by the beautician in the nearby salon.

13. Badminton is your latest sport.

14. Your cellphone is more a camera than a phone.

15. Your favorite basketball move is the layup.

16. U stl use txtspk evn wen chatng.

17. The Buzz and Startalk is your source of news.

18. Your career goal is to be a caregiver in another country.

19. You can easily name three of Kris Aquino’s ex boyfriends but have a hard time recalling three presidents before Marcos.

20. You are either “Kapamilya” or “Kapuso”.

21. LBM is your number one excuse for not going to work.

22. The local herbologist is more qualified than your doctor in curing you.

23. Any unnamed disease or condition is caused by withcraft.

24. During funeral wakes, any butterfly, cockroach, or moths present is definitely the spirit of the deceased.

25. Cancer can be cured by magical oil from a crying statue.

26. FX is not a movie process, it’s a ride.

27. It’s not acceptable to poke fun on Filipinos but it’s ok to make fun on balds, blacks, the blind, the deaf, the mentally challenged, etc.

28. You lost because the other person cheated.

29. Lance Armstrong? Wasn’t he one of the Voltes V?

and my very own:

1. You know you are in Palawan when hear the natives speak up to three to five dialects.

I added 3 of my own.

1. You know if your a Filipino if you stop walking and listening when your cell phone gets a text message

2. You cover your mouth with your hand when you use a toothpick, but do not cover your finger as you pick your nose.

3. You do not ask the cost of the 2 large bottles of Red Horse but ask for discount on rice.

Thank John Ray for letting me share these humorious items.

4 Responses to “You Know You are a Filipino if….”

  1. johnray says:

    Bruce,

    I really like your own additions..really true..especially number two…thanks again.

  2. Anthony says:

    One of mine ” When you have to have cola every night for dinner”

    • Bruce says:

      That sound like me, I have a coke (the full strength in Red can) at every meal. I am a non recovering Coke-a-haulic.

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